The Simple Life at Home

My last post was a week ago. There I was, once again whining about balance and struggling to make my life work. I felt very defeated, very much like an unorganized failure. I know that there are women out there who manage to do it all, effortlessly it seems. I couldn't imagine ever being like that. I was convinced that I had to handle all the different facets of my life and make them work.

Thank God for Beth Moore.

As I mentioned before, I'm working through her new study on the book of Esther. It's been such a blessing to me, but last week she made a point that I found so freeing. She was discussing how Esther had already had the king, her husband Xerxes, as well as her enemy, Haman, over to one banquet and had invited them for another one the next day. We don't know the reason why she didn't reveal the dire circumstances she faced as a result of Haman's order to slaughter the Jews. Perhaps it was all part of the plan. Perhaps at the last minute she chickened out and blurted out an invitation for the following day to buy time to figure out what to do.

Regardless, picture Esther laying in bed that night, fretting about the next day, knowing that not only her own life, but the fate of her people were squarely on her royal shoulders. It had to be overwhelming. (Now, I'm not saying that the fate of a nation weighs on my shoulder, but I did feel overwhelmed.)

As she lay in bed, her husband was wide awake. The Scriptures say, "The Lord took away sleep from him." To soothe himself, he asked that the chronicles of his reign be read to him. Now, he'd been king for quite some time - perhaps as many as 10 years. And yet the portion of the chronicles that was read to him that night included something that would turn the situation on end. Xerxes learned that Mordechai, the prime target of Haman's rage and whom Haman planned to execute in the morning, had at one point saved his life by revealing a plot against the king. Even more, Mordechai had never been rewared for his good deed. Long story short, Mordechai ended up being honored and Haman ended up being on the wrong end of the king's wrath.

Esther did have her second banquet, during which time she revealed the truth of her heritage as well as the plot against her people. Her willingness to do whatever she could was rewarded.

In the same way, I just have to be faithful to do what I can do. As Beth put it, "it's tough being a woman who feels responsible for the how." The end result of any circumstance is not really up to us. It's up to God. All we can do is to be faithful in the details of what He has called us to do and let Him work. Oftentimes, it may be something as mundane as causing a sleepless night.

It was so freeing to me to read that I am not responsible for how things turn out. I do my best and let God work. I spend so much time worrying and stressing and trying to make everything perfect. Beth gave me some of the best advice I've ever heard: Fire yourself.

And so, to borrow a phrase from Donald Trump, I'm fired.

Fired and free. Free from the stress and anxiety. Free from the need to be the perfect mom and wife and woman.

All I have to do is my part. Thankfully, God promises that He will not give us more than we can bear. If I am faithful, He will use me to accomplish His will and He will be glorified.

That's a good thing.

Balance is something I've always struggled with. Lately it seems that struggle has been rearing its ugly head more and more.

Now that my children are in school, I really want to be involved. PTA, Parent Advisory Forum, Booster Club - the opportunities abound. I feel so disconnected from my kids and I want to be part of what they do all day. Not just for my own selfish reasons, but to make sure that they are getting the best. The best education, the best opportunities, the best life.

I'm also struggling with trying to keep up with the house. I thought once my kids were in school, I would have all this time to clean house. I pictured myself like June Cleaver, in dress, heels and pearls, baking fresh cookies and welcoming my kids home to a sparkling clean house with dinner in the oven. Somehow that hasn't happened.

I find myself getting more and more involved in church, which is a good thing. Besides teaching Sunday school on a monthly basis, I'm also a weekly volunteer in the youth group, facilitate a women's Bible study each week (which necessitates another weekly meeting to prep), and am co-leader of Bible Studies for the Women's Ministry Leadership Team. While I love all of it, I'm wondering if (and my husband is certain that) I've gotten too involved, too fast.

And then there is the issue of caring for myself. I keep saying that I'm going to do it, but I always put myself on the back burner. I'm exercising, but not as much as I would like too. And I am still putting off that visit to the doctor. I just want to make everything great for my family and feel selfish taking that time for myself when I know that the house is a mess, nothing's planned for dinner, laundry is piling up, and kids need help with their homework.

To add to all that, I know that I need to get a job to help pay for the kids' schooling. Even though I just need something part time, the thought of adding one more thing to my life terrifies me.

So here I am, like the sideshow of a circus trying to keep all my plates spinning, knowing that at any minute one is going to go careening off its pole and to the ground. As I type this, it's obvious to me what my problem is. I'm not giving any of this to God. In my own strength, I am so weak, unable to keep those plates spinning for more than a short time.

If I could just come to God every day, offering up my time and my energy and submitting to His will and plan for my day, I would have peace and balance. I would know my priorities - and they'd be the right ones, because they would be His priorities. We are promised in Scripture that we can do all things in Christ. We are told that He gives us strength and helps us to not grow weary. Well, let me tell you, I am weary.

Weary from struggling to be perfect. Weary from kicking myself for my faults and failures. Weary from trying to be all things to all people. Even though I've been getting more sleep lately than I have in years, I'm more tired than I've ever been.

So from now on I want to drop all the plates. I want to ask Him to give me only what He wants me to carry. Some of the things I mentioned above I've already decided that I will have to let go of. Others I may or may not. But it's not really the amount of things I'm doing that's the issue.

It's Who I'm doing them with.

Welcome back!!! Can you believe it's Monday again and time to think about our week ahead?! Time flies, doesn't it? I'm running a bit late today getting the kids off to school, so here's our menu for this week with no-frills.


Sunday - M'sahkhan (Fried chicken and onions, mixed with sumac and served with pita bread)

Monday - Uncle David's Spaghetti & Meatballs, garlic bread, caesar salad

Tuesday - Salmon, couscous with red pepper and onions and a tossed salad

Wednesday - Cottage pie

Thursday - Tostadas

Friday - Potato Lover's Salad

Saturday - Curry Cajun Chicken, green beans, salad


Simple, yummy, delicious!!!

In other news, nothing to say except life is good. We are busy and happy. I think everyone, even the kids, are starting to feel more at home. Putting them in school has been a good decision which has helped them make friends and build connections here in Qatar. While it was an agonizing decision, it's proved to be the right one.

And now I'm off to make lunches, find PE uniforms, make the school drive and get my day started. May your day be blessed!!!

Ok. It's time for me to just face facts and admit I know nothing about blog design. I can't even handle importing those free designs without messing something up. I had realized that for some reason the picture at the top of my old design (the one with the camels) had disappeared, so I was trying to fix that (couldn't!), so then I tried to get something else pretty and I ended up with the combination of two things here.

I'm going to keep working on it, but right now I've got to take my daughter to the mall to meet friends and do a little shopping myself. One of these days I'll convince Hubby to let me spend a little money to get the blog professionally done. Sigh...One of these days...

Emily showed me this hilarious video. Her teacher showed it to her class the other day. It is SOOOO true. I will warn you that there is a bad word (beeped out) and a bit of other iffy language, but I think it's worth the attitude adjustment it will bring. It may just help you realize that life is much better than we realize.

Yesterday I went to my very first event as the mom of school-attending children. A meeting was called at the school to discuss the high school math program. While I don't yet have a high schooler, Emily will be one in the blink of an eye so I, and several other parents of 8th graders, attended.

Now I was totally clueless as to why the meeting was called. I do know that Emily has been complaining mightily about her math class. Homework is neither collected nor checked, let alone counted towards the grade. She says that her teacher doesn't really explain how to do things. I dismissed most of the complaints as being the mere grumblings of a girl who doesn't like math (a situation I am intimately acquainted with unfortunately!!).

Well, come to find out, she's right. All the way from kindergarten through 12th grade it's the same. The school has adopted a philosophy of being "inquiry-based," which means allowing the child to find the answers for themselves. Sounds good, but I don't think it works in practice, particularly in math.

In fact, it's working so poorly that the entire high school is being allowed to re-take their semester exams because such a high percentage of children got D's and F's. This will only happen, though, after mandatory math labs - 5 days a week! - for a month so they can get caught up to where they should be.

The department head defended her position, stating that they wanted to help children learn to think for themselves. Ok, I can understand that. But she said that they don't want to just give children the formulas or an explanation of how to find an answer. But isn't that what math is all about? I don't know anyone who would initially look at the equation 6C x 9(42 + c) = 83 and have any clue as to how to proceed without direction from a teacher.

As proof of this, a huge number of families have hired private tutors to help their kids. Let me tell you, for what we are paying in tuition, I can't imagine having to pay someone else to teach my kids what they should be learning in school. And many children were told that their parents were not to help them with their homework in any way!! Um, excuse me, but I am still the parent and I am ultimately still responsible for my child's education. That is the homeschool rebel in me coming out, but no one is going to tell me if my child is struggling that I can't help them understand. I'm not talking about doing the work for them, but talking them through the process.

I just don't get it. For many years we all managed to do this. Our teachers managed to collect, grade and return our homework, learning what we did and didn't understand in the process. The teachers helped us learn how to do these things and we learned. It was simple.

According to the information given in the meeting today the teachers will be moving towards a more direct teaching style and away from the inquiry based model. I hope that's true. My daughter and son, along with many other kids, deserve that much.