The Simple Life at Home

I'm sitting here at my computer at 1:30 in the morning. I can't sleep. I'm just too sad.

I just got word that the husband of one of my dearest friends died as a result of a plane crash in Honduras today.

They were an amazing couple - funny, hospitable, loving. Now she must go on alone.

Yes, she'll have the comfort of friends and family, as well as her God, whom she serves wholeheartedly. But she will miss Harry. She'll miss his presence, his companionship, his love.

Sadly, in the last week, I've heard of two other women I know and love whose husbands passed away this month, one to cancer and one to heart failure. I pray for all three of them that God will comfort them and wrap His loving arms around them during these dark days.

But it puts a sad post script on the series I've been doing here about respecting your husband.

None of us knows how much time we have left with our husband. It could be decades or it could be minutes. Don't let yourself fall into the mistake of merely "planning" on changing your attitude towards him if it needs done. Don't spend one more minute wasted on anger and regret and resentment.

Your husband is a precious gift from God. I know that there are times when we don't feel that way, but it's true even in those moments. Honor him and love him while you have the chance.

So I've been dealing with some loneliness. Moving to the opposite side of the globe will do that to you.

I've been missing my friends back home. I've been lamenting the fact that I haven't made any real friends here - not the kind that you just pick up the phone and call to ask what they are doing. I've been feeling invisible because no body knows me.

Back "home" everybody knew me. They knew that I am great with kids and that I'm always in charge of the preschool area during our church's huge VBS. They knew that I'm a good cook and what I bring to a church potluck is almost always yummy. They knew that I ran the church bookstore. They knew that I led women's Bible studies. They knew that I have a heart for women who want to be godly wives and mothers. They knew that I can be a little sarcastic, but that I'm so tender-hearted, I'll cry if I hear good news from a friend.

They knew I was a good friend.

But, alas, when you move, nobody knows any of this. To them, you are just a new person. A blank slate. A question mark. Should they take the time to get to know you? Do they have room in their already busy lives to fit someone else in?

For the past couple of weeks, I've been in a pretty sad state. I've spent hours crying on my bed, and on Hubby's shoulders, about not having a friend.

It's been pretty pitiful around here, y'all.

But thankfully, God led me to bring along a book called "After the Boxes are Unpacked." Now, I had purchased this book way back before we ever thought of moving to Qatar. Before we thought of moving to Tennessee. It was purchased several years ago when I foolishly thought I could get Hubby to move to Colorado Springs.

It snowed in May while we were there. In May, people. That sealed the deal right there. Hubby is definitely a warm weather guy.

Anyhoo, I bought this book from the Focus on the Family headquarters and then set it aside, figuring I'd never actually get out of Miami. I'd forgotten about it until this huge bout of loneliness came over me.

It was such a blessing.

Through it I have been reminded that God is always with me and He is the BEST friend I could ask for.

I've come to recognize that this is a time for me to slow my life down (something I think just might have to do with the purpose statement of this blog above!!).

I realize that this solitary time in my life is a time for me to dig deeper into the Word and into God Himself.

I understand that sometimes God needs to strip away all the outer facade of who we are (you know, all that stuff I listed above) and re-make us into something new for His purposes.

I've got a little bit more to share about the book and about what's going on here, but I just wanted to encourage anyone who is feeling lonely, whether it's through a move or other circumstances, that God is with you. He wants to do something with and through you during this time.

He is not silent and He has not left you. Seek Him out and let Him be your friend and sustenance.

how the Chapman family would deal with the tragic loss of their 5 year old daughter, Maria, here is a beautiful report about the service for her and how the family is doing now.

I was sobbing as I read of their faithfulness at what surely must be one of the most difficult times a family can face. May we all be found so faithful.

Thanks to Lynn for allowing me to share it with you.

I haven't participated in Thankful Thursday several weeks. And yet, I have so much to be grateful for.

* I'm grateful for my husband, who has been a rock for me during this transition to life in Qatar.

* I'm grateful for my children, who are kind and loving and considerate of me.

* I'm grateful that I have finally begun to feel a little bit like people know who I am. Feeling like a stranger all the time is painful.

* I'm grateful for our home here. While it's still coming together, it's a lovely home and I can't wait to make it feel like it's really "homey."

* I'm grateful that God taught me so much during the Bible study I just completed, "Discerning the Voice of God." It's an excellent, excellent study I can highly recommend.

* I'm grateful that God is so wise. I've been going through some minor stuff here and I feel like God is just speaking to me and guiding me so clearly. Just when I need to hear His voice, I do. I'll be sharing more about this in the next day or so, so let your curiosity drive you crazy. LOL!! There's nothing earth-shattering, just a delight to see how God smoothes our way for us.

It's so good to come to the Lord and to tell Him we are thankful. We so often forget to say thanks and just go about our way. But we are commanded throughout Scripture to be thankful. In the good times, and bad times. Even when we think there is nothing to be thankful for, we are called to still be thankful.

So what can you find to be thankful for today? To see what other women are saying, click on the box above and visit Iris.

*** Please note: This article is reprinted from last fall. Sorry, but I'm fresh out of ideas this morning and this one seemed to hit home for a lot of people so I thought it wouldn't hurt to share it again.

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As a wife and mother, for many years I considered myself, "just a stay at home mom." I dressed in sloppy clothes, didn't bother with makeup unless I had somewhere special to go, and generally just tried to make it through each day.

That all changed when I realized that homemaking is a career. It is the career that I have chosen - willingly, happily. I don't regret it for a second. But I did realize that I needed to make some changes. That I needed to take pride in myself and in the job that I was doing. And that my "career" was just as valid as any other career choice. Here are a few epiphanies that I had which helped me turn things around:

I needed to be willing to invest in the right tool for the job. In the early years of homeschooling my children, I couldn't justify to myself spending the money for an electric pencil sharpener. Consequently, there was never a sharp pencil in the house! Similarly, Swiffer brand products have made keeping my home sparkling much, much easier. Switching to their bagless vacuum from my big bulky one alone has made caring for my tile floors a breeze. Recently I invested in laundry hampers that have three separate sections. Each bedroom got one and now sorting laundry is a breeze. My point is that we would never expect a lawyer to practice law without the right set of books, or a firefighter to fight fires without the proper equipment. Your career as a homemaker is just as valid and you shouldn't feel guilty about setting aside funds to help you do your job.

Get up each morning and do your hair and makeup and dress nicely. I'm not saying you need to wear heels and pearls a la Mrs. Cleaver, but look presentable enough that if you have to make a quick trip out or if the doorbell unexpectedly rings, you aren't mortified. I personally like to be ready before my Hubby leaves the house so the last image he sees of me as he heads off to work isn't my just-rolled-out-of-bed look. Remember, our husbands are often surrounded by women who are primped and prettied up - we need to not look like slobs next to them.

Actually DO your work. One day my husband said to me (back in my slobby days when the house was always a wreck) that he felt it was only fair that I worked, honestly WORKED, at least as many hours a day as he did. Now, he didn't mean in a legalistic sense of keeping track of hours and minutes, but the point is that he's out working hard all day to provide for our family. My role as a homemaker is to spend my time at home investing it in "making our home." Making it a beautiful place. Making it a sanctuary for my husband and children. Making it look nice and smell nice. Making it a place where God is glorified. And all that takes work and effort. I shouldn't try to skate by on just the bare minimum. If he is working 8-9 hours a day, I ought to be putting in a similar effort (I do include my time spent homeschooling in this time as I review my days).

The point is to see your role as a wife and mother as a something that is worthy of your best effort. This shift in my view point has made a world of difference in our home. And that works for me! For more great ideas, visit Rocks in My Dryer!

We made it!!! Today we reach the end of the word "respect" and finish up our series on respecting our husbands.

I know that for some of you this has been hard. Heck, it's been hard on me. It seems that as soon as you start to talk about something, that's what God suddenly tests you on, ya know? Every little thought and word I've spoken to Hubby over this time I've had to stop and think and ask myself if I'm living up to what I'm sharing here.

Often, I'm not.

Like I've said, this is a process. Much of what God does in our lives is a process. We don't always change overnight, but rather gradually as we come to know Him and to understand Him.

Anyways, let's look at today's words:

1) Trust - I cannot stress this enough. This is probably the most important word in the entire series. Without trust, you can never get to the point where you truly honor and respect your husband.

But who is your trust in? If it's in your husband, that's great, but it's not enough. He's human, just like you. He will, at some point, let you down. He will fail. He will make mistakes. Mistakes that may hurt you or, gulp, your kids.

However, if your trust is in God, the creator of the universe, you will be alright. Even when your spouse makes a mistake - something that you saw coming - God will honor you for your obedience to His command to respect your husband.

Now, I'm not saying that we jump in the car and let our husbands drive off a cliff with the kids in the backseat. Obviously, as his wife, you are called upon to give your husband godly counsel and, if you feel he is making a mistake, to appeal to him and explain your reasoning. But it must be done gently and with love.

Trusting God is really the only way you can do this whole respect thing. Because if you understand that He is ultimately sovereign over every detail of your life, that NOTHING can happen to you unless He allows it and has a plan and a purpose for it, then you know that no decision your husband makes can interfere with God's plan.

Go back and read that sentence again. And maybe a third time. Then read what Scripture says.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

So, you see, it's really all up to God in the end. Even if your husband makes mistakes, God can use them to train you and teach you. And you will have a stronger marriage for what you have gone through and because you chose to honor your husband and encourage him rather than tear him down and criticize him.

2) Transform - Do you ever watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? It's a favorite in this house. And we are always amazed as the reveal of the new home takes place. Gone is the shabby, run down, too-small place the family once called home. In its place stands a thing of beauty that, in all honesty, the family never thought they would be able to live in.

But getting there? Well, it's not easy. First the family had to admit that their home isn't all it could be. It's still their home, though right? The place holds memories. They had to ask for help and allow the show to come in. Then a crew comes in and has to completely destroy all that was there in order to make room for the new home. A lot of work goes into it.

It's like that with us. We have to step back and see if we are all that we could be? Are we living up to what the Bible has called us to be? If not, ask God to help you be that woman. Ask Him to flood into your life in such a way that He changes you from the inside out.

We have to allow God to come into our spirits and tear down all the old stuff that is not honoring to Him. We have to be willing to surrender what He wants us to surrender. Sometimes that is painful, but the end result will be a thing of beauty.

If we can allow God to change us, we can honor Him in a way that we never could if we resist and stick to what we've always known.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

Allowing God to renew your mind leads to doing His will. Following the ways of the world and refusing to change blocks what God wants to do in your life.

Be willing to open yourself up to God and all that He has to give you. Respecting your husband and honoring him can seem like such an old-fashioned, out-dated concept. But it's God's plan for married women. And God's plans never go out of style.

Back again for another yummy Menu Plan Monday! If you are looking for the last part in the series I'm doing on respecting your husband, I promise it will be up tomorrow. The past few days have been a little off for me. Nothing major, just still trying to adjust to our big move. It's been two months now and, while I'm doing fine with living here, the emotional issues kind of had their way with me the past few days. I've been very lonely and missing my friends. But more about that later! On to the menu plan!!

I'm on Week 7 of my 8 Week Menu Plan. As usual, things get shifted around and some things carried over from the prior week that I just didn't get to. But here's the plan for this week.

Sunday - Shepherd's Pie

Monday - Shrimp and Sausage Jambalaya with rice and a chopped salad

Tuesday - Roasted Chicken, roasted potatoes and a tossed salad

Wednesday - Chicken Tortilla Soup with rolls

Thursday - Fish fry with cole slaw

Friday - Sandwiches, cole slaw and chips

Saturday - Chili and cornbread

There you go! Basic and simple and yet delicious. Oh, and exciting news!! We have officially received permission from the government to purchase alcohol. Now, before you go judging me, I don't drink. Not that I think it's sinful to drink at all. I just never got the taste for it. However, I do use wine in my cooking quite frequently and some things just aren't the same without it.