The Simple Life at Home

I am a big, fat liar.


I know that I said I would do the No Regrets posts every day.


I know I promised a few days ago that I would post the next segment that day.


Didn't happen.


What can I say? Life intervened and between a sick child, being swamped with homework for the first time ever, a migraine, and various activities in-between I just haven't been able to get to the post.


So let's look at it now. As I mentioned, this day was about taking care of yourself. The title of the chapter was "Oxygen Mask" in reference to the airplane announcement to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping other people.


Question: How would you rate your health in each of these four areas - spiritual, physical, emotional and relational - from one (terrible) to ten (fantastic)? What's the greatest challenge to improving your health in these areas? What can you work on to work through this challenge?


Spiritual - Rating: 4

I have to admit that I am seriously lacking in my daily walk with God. Well, in the disciplines of that walk anyways. While I feel I do pretty well at keeping a constant conversation with God throughout my day, I still feel that I am not drinking at the well of the Word enough. Nor do I have really deep, long times of prayer. I am empty most of the time, spiritually speaking. I'm not getting the nourishment I need. It's like living on a diet of candy bars and soda. This results in my not having an even-keel and losing my temper and getting easily frustrated. During this challenge time, I would like to spend more time in the Word. I think that would be a major factor. Also, I need to practice being still and being in God's presence.


Physical - Rating: 4

Not doing too well in this area either. I've fallen into the trap that many mothers do, paying so much attention to everyone else at the expense of taking care of myself. As my lack of attention to my own needs has decreased, my weight has increased, my lack of energy has has increased, my self-esteem has plummeted and my general well-being has suffered. I've not been eating right (either in what I'm eating or how much I'm eating). I've been exercising, but only minimally. I don't get enough sleep. During this challenge, I want to up my exercise level (both in time and intensity), start eating better and drinking more water, and get to sleep by 11:00, instead of 1 or so. I also plan to make an appointment for a general check-up.


Emotional - Rating: 6

Well, I am very in touch with my emotions, that's for sure. However, I tend to be over-emotional, wearing my heart on my sleeve. I have gotten better at flying off the handle over the years (although having a teenager in the house is putting that to the test!!), but still occasionally do. However, I think the test of having moved to a very different culture in a foreign land has helped me to see that I'm stronger than I gave myself credit for previously. During this challenge, I would like to practice walking away and taking a breath when I feel myself at the verge of an outburst.

Relational - 8

This is an area where I would say I do better than others. While it has been difficult to leave my very well-established social circle back in Miami, I think I'm well on my way to building up a new network here in Doha. I've begun to connect more and more with women here. With regards to my marriage, I think that Hubby and I are in a pretty good place right now. There are some issues, as always, but in general we seem to be connecting pretty well and on the same page most of the time. During this challenge I want to step out in faith and invite another couple over for dinner to continue to build friendships and go on two dates with Hubby.

So there you have it. I'm blessed that my husband is encouraging me to put myself on the front burner for a while and take care of myself. I have a lot of work to do, but I don't want to give up in my efforts to improve in every area of my life.

Question: What are the current barriers to spiritual health in your life? In other words, what keeps you from connecting to God as your primary source of spiritual life?

Gosh, this is a hard one to answer. I guess I have periods where I am feeling like a spiritual giant and very, very close to God and then I have periods where I feel so very far away from Him. Of course, I know that He is still there, right there with me, but I have tuned Him out. I think the biggest barrier to my spiritual health is related to yesterday's question. I just keep my mind too busy, too amused, to spend time with Him.

I'm the kind of person who hates quiet. I turn on the radio as soon as I get in the car. I turn on the tv, even if I have no intention of watching it, just for the noise. And yet I know that we are called to be still. How else can I know my God if I don't spend time with Him? How can I have a conversation with Him if there is always something else taking up my attention? I keep my mind so busy with noise that there is no opportunity for His still, small voice to get my attention.

I'm working on it. I really want to live my life intentionally - working towards prioritizing those things which are really important to me (my walk with God, my family, my health), instead of allowing those things which are merely easy to be my focus. I think that by consistently reminding myself of what is really important, I can manage to tune out that which is merely there and available. Sometimes it's hard to dig through all the nonsense our world fills us up with, but it's necessary to get down to the treasures which lie hidden.

Question: What was the bigger time waster in your past week? What was the payoff for you? Did it distract you, entertain you, allow you to avoid someone? Is there a way to use your time differently and have a greater, more significant impact? Maybe you need to watch less television and to read more, or perhaps instead of surfing the Internet, you could go for a walk or get some other exercise. Come up with a short list of alternate activities you can pursue the next time you are tempted to waste time by default.

Not surprisingly, my two biggest timewasters are the ones mentioned above - tv and the Internet. Both of these suck me in and cause me to waste away hours every day. I would wager to say that my payoff is in the fact that I just don't like doing the things that require effort on my part - cleaning the toilets, hanging laundry, exercising, even reading the Bible as it requires thought and concentration.

Honestly, I prefer to be amused. Jess over at Making Home wrote an excellent post on how our modern day amusements are dulling our minds. It's a very thought-provoking piece that I've been mulling over. Here's one of the best parts:

We are in danger of being lulled to sleep, mentally, emotionally, culturally, and SPIRITUALLY-- by our amusements. When our days and nights are filled with technology, news, and fantasy games, and our homes, garages, and storage buildings are filled with toys, electronics, appliances, decorations, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff..., our minds are in danger of being overtaken, not only by our stuff (although I would argue that most Americans are indeed fixated on stuff), and not only by our amusements (although I would argue that most Americans are indeed fixated on amusements), but also by a creeping indifference to the dying, the poor, the uneducated, the spiritually dead people around the world.

When I think back to the "olden days," I think that an entirely different mindst was in place. People worked hard and took satisfaction in a job well-done. Entertainment options were limited, at best, and often consisted of a family sitting together at night reading aloud or playing music together. Yes, the work was back-breaking and time-consuming. But the family worked together and it wasn't an option. Survival often relied upon it.

Now obviously we can't go back in time. But I can try to adopt a similar mindset of work before play. I can take pride in my work and in accomplishing my goals. In order to try to escape from the mindless drivel that often occupies much of my day I want to establish a habit of making my list of goals for the day (including exercise and time with God, as well as homemaking responsibilities and enrichment activities - reading, etc.). My goals is to refrain from using both the television and computer until after I've completed those tasks.

I want to keep my mind, body and soul engaged with what I'm doing. I want to focus on the things that matter to me.

The hours and minutes I waste can never be regained.

Today's Question:

If you were certain your life as you know it would end in a few weeks, what would be your biggest regret?

Sadly, it would be the fact that I have spent so much of the last decade focusing on my weight. Being upset about it, being depressed about it, allowing it to determine what I can and cannot do; allowing it to affect my marriage, my emotions, my health, my activity level.

If I had invested all the time I spent obsessing about my weight actually doing something about it, I would be a size 0. Not that I want to be a size 0. I just want to be healthy and happy and feel good about myself. I think that I have allowed myself to become so self-defeating in my internal dialogue. I've convinced myself that I will always be this weight, that there is nothing I can do about it, that it's out of my control.

And that's simply not true. The truth is I make decisions, small ones, every day that keep me where I am. The truth is that I choose to stay how I am because it's easier than changing. Yes, losing weight would require a tremendous amount of committment and work. Yes, I would have to deny myself somethings that I like. Yes, I'd have to exercise even though I don't enjoy it.

But all that can't be as hard as this. It can't be harder than knowing my kids aren't going to have pictures of me in their childhood because I hate how I look in pictures. It can't be harder than knowing that every time my husband looks at me, there is disappointment in his eyes. It can't be harder than the shame I feel.

So I want to stop obsessing about the weight and actually start doing something about it. I KNOW all that I need to do. I know it all. Doing it is the problem. But even if I make a few choices every day that are better than the choices I've made in the past, I'll come out ahead. I'm not promising anything. I'm not going to tell myself I will work out an hour a day. I'm not saying I'm swearing off soda and snacks.

But what I want to do is when I find myself beating myself up, I want to make the conscious choice to take that time to build myself up instead.

Last week at church we were all given a copy of the book, One Month to Live, by Kerry & Chris Shook. We have a guest speaker this week and next who is going to be discussing the book and the effects it could have on our lives.

It's a day-by-day kind of book. Each day's reading ends with a few questions to help you think about how to apply what you've read. I'm not going to be able to consolidate each day's reading for you, but I do want to pick one of the questions each day - something meaningful to me - and share the question and my response. It will be not only for your benefit, but mine as well as I'll be able to go back and look at the decisions I've made and thoughts I've processed. So here's day 1's question:

As quickly as possible, without thinking too hard or too long, make a list of five things you'd change about your life if you knew you only had a month to live. Choose at least one thing to begin changing today, right now.

1. I would stop hating myself because of what I weigh. I would realize there are better ways to spend my precious time.
2. I wouldn't worry about the small things, like if Hubby drops his dirty laundry on the floor rather than in the hamper or if my children don't put away the dishes in the right place.
3. I would spend more time with God.
4. I wouldn't waste so much of my time watching tv.
5. I would make sure to laugh every day.


So that's it. No elaboration. No long speech. Just the question and answer, every day. I'm going to post them all under the label "No Regrets," just so I can find some motivation when I'm starting to slip back into old habits. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the questions, so feel free to either post them here in the comments or if you do it on your blog, let me know!