The Simple Life at Home

I've been reading quite a bit lately about the minimalism movement.  I have to say that it certainly sounds appealing.

The idea of having just the bare necessities sounds wonderful.  So much less to worry about, to move about while dusting, to hunt through while looking for something else.  Sounds like my idea of heaven on earth.

But actually making it happen in real life?  That's a whole other matter.  Most people have an abundance of personal possessions, things that they cling to for better or for worse.  This can range from sentimental treasures picked up while traveling to every little doo-hickey or gadget that ever crosses our paths that we keep because "someday it might come in handy."

Having recently helped a friend as she packed up to repatriate back to the US, I was struck by the amount of stuff we accumulate.  (Yes, Melissa, should you ever read this, this means you.  Still love you!) I started to think ahead to when we move back home, hopefully in about 2 years.  I decided then and there that I needed to streamline my life well in advance of that move.  Not just for the sake of a smooth move, but for the sake of my sanity every day in between now and then.

Some of the minimalist blogs I've been looking at are a little too radical for me.  Selling off their cars, moving in with parents, only owning enough towels for one for each person in the family.  I'm not quite there yet.  I don't know that I ever will be.  That's why I'm calling this post "Minimal Minimalism." I just want to simplify without hardship.  To me, that seems to negate the point.

In the course of my brain processing all this, I actually discussed with Hubby perhaps getting rid of one of our cars.  After all, I live less than a 10 minute walk to school.  Couldn't the kids and I just walk to and from each day?

Hubby patiently listened and then reminded me that right now, in January, that might seem like an ideal plan.  But soon enough, January turns into April, which eventually brings June when the temperatures at 7 am during our morning walk would already be over 100 degrees and by 3:30 when we head home it would be well over 110.

This is why I married him.

I think that minimalism is great - but it should bring relief and happiness to our lives.  It shouldn't be just  getting rid of stuff for the sake of it. Maybe being car-less works for some people but it wouldn't for us. So here are a few areas where I think I can whittle away at the amount of "stuff" in our home and have it be a positive thing rather than a negative.

• My closet - I have a rather over-stuffed closet, but rarely use more than half of what is hanging in it.  Some of it I just have grown to dislike over the years, but some of it just doesn't fit.  Instead of telling myself, "I'll get back into it someday!!!" I should tell myself, "When I get back down into that size, I'll have worked hard enough at it that I will deserve a new wardrobe!"  Time to donate those clothes.
• Paper - I have tended to keep every paper that is some what official.  For years.  I have a filing cabinet that we moved over here with us five years ago that Hubby and I went through over Christmas break and weeded out maybe 75%.  I guess I don't really need maintenance records on cars that we no longer own or insurance policy documents on policies we've let lapse.  Who knew??
• Kitchen gadgets - Oh, this is getting a little sensitive now, I know.  I fancy myself somewhat of a good cook and have amassed quite a little stockpile of gadgety items in my kitchen.  So much so that I can barely close a couple of cabinet doors and drawers.  I need to ask myself - how often do I use this and does that make it worth me dealing with it taking up space?  The espresso machine that we bought two months before moving to Doha where we can't use it because it's a different voltage?  5 years it's been taking up massive space in my kitchen cabinets.  The rolling pin that I never really use because I can't make a pie crust to save my life, but I keep hoping I will  magically become a pie-maker extraordinaire?  It needs to go.  I'm going to try this plan - if i haven't used it in 6 months, put it in a box and move it to the storage room.  If by that time I haven't had to dig through the box looking for it, to the end-of-school-year garage sale it goes.
• Books - This is a real sacred cow for some, especially us homeschooling types. (Yes, yes, I know I haven't homeschooled in 4 years, but it's still in my blood.)  Hubby and I have 4.5 bookshelves of books, and the kids probably have enough to fill another one between the two of them.  We need to seriously assess what we need to keep (any material which enhances our spiritual life, for instance) and what we need to part with (school materials the kids have outgrown, fiction we won't ever read again, etc.).  I'd like to get it down to just three bookshelves, working our way down to just one eventually.

I'm so happy about the way that the living room turned out!

I did end up second-guessing myself and going back and getting another paint color. But it didn't seem right either, so at the last minute, decided to go ahead and paint the first color. I'm so glad I did. It came out beautifully!! It's kind of a caramel color, and it looks so lush and rich. I just love it.

Hubby and I took some time to rearrange the room as well - moving artwork, furniture and plants around. We also put up some of that vinyl lettering you can buy with the pre-cut letters in different sayings. While I was in the States I picked up one that says, "Live. Laugh. Love." It's looks so nice up against the rich color. Now it looks like a pulled together room rather than just a place we just moved into and haven't really worked on. I'm so happy!

Pictures will follow when I figure out how to get them out of the camera!! (Hubby's still home, so hopefully later today!)

I've decided that I wear too many caps.  (Not actual hats, of course.  I have an unusually large head and hats don't generally fit on it.)  What I'm referring to is the number of roles I play.  It's nothing new really, this multiple hat-wearing.  As any mother knows, we all wear enough hats to fill Imelda Marcos' shoe closet - wife, mother, cook, housekeeper, nursemaid, teacher, chauffeur...the list could go on and on.

So I am a big, fat liar.

Back during our Thanksgiving/Eid break, I promised to have pictures of our new house up by the end of the week.

Well, that didn't happen. I'm lazy. Sorry. (I think subconsciously I was waiting for Christmas decorations to be up. Everything looks better with Christmas decorations, doesn't it?).

But, finally, here they are. Please be gracious and remember that we are still working on the place. We haven't painted and we still need to find some artwork to grace the walls. But I'm happy with how it is so far.

They are in pretty random order, but here goes!




Let's start with the important thing.

My bathtub.

Finally I can take a nice, deep, luxurious bubble bath. At the old house, I had an awful tub. It was too short, too shallow and too narrow. Trying to take a bath in it was like trying to take a bath in one of those banana split dishes. This one is fabulous!!








This is a view from our dining room to the living room. I love how our front door is all glass and let's in tons of light. Even though this picture is really dark. You'll just have to trust me on this one.










This is just inside the front door looking towards the dining room.

See what I mean about needing artwork on the walls? The whole wall along the right, which you don't see is plain, plain, plain. Blah!











This is the other half of the living room. Since we went from having a living room, family room AND loft in the other house to just having a living room in this house, it required a little creativity in trying to fit in the furniture. So this couch kind of divides the room in half - a tv watching area, and behind it, a sitting area for reading or visiting.

Since working, I've been finding myself less and less devoted to making my home a haven for my family.  

I've been doing a little thinking lately and I've realized that I've been handling becoming a "working mother" all wrong.  Since I started working about a month and a half ago, our home life has basically been allowed to go to seed.  Here's just a little snippet of what it's been like lately:

Way back when, I posted an 8 Week Menu Plan.  It was grand, it was ambitious, it worked fabulously.

Well, as promised, I've taken some time this week to re-examine my routines. Things obviously had to change once I started working full-time. I haven't gotten much else done this week as I'm still pretty much flat on my back from my trachea/pharynx/whatever infection. I had such great hopes to do so much work in the house during our spring break, but I've been pleased to get a meal on the table, a load or two of laundry done and dishes washed. Hubby and Daniel have been so sweet and helpful.

I've broken the routines down into time frames. It's kind of like little checklists to do at each part of the day. I'm blessed in that, even though I work full-time, I'm still home by 4 pm. I work from 7:30 to 3:30. That gives me plenty of time to get dinner ready and do a little housework, as well as do some homework help, before, say 6 pm.

Morning Routines: (Waking up at 5:30 and leaving the house at 7 am)
Make bed
Do 30 min on treadmill or a 3 min exercise video
Shower and dress
Swish toilets/swipe bathroom sink
Hang laundry washed the night before
Decide what's for dinner and defrost something if needed
Kids: Unload dishwasher, take out garbage, feed dog

Afternoon Routines: (To be done between 4pm and 6 pm)
Fold clothes hung in the morning
Finish cooking dinner
Help with homework
Focus task (explained below)

Evening Routines: (To be done before bed)
Wash dishes
Clean counters, sink and table
Run a load of clothes
Prepare clothes and lunches for morning

Focus Tasks
(A focus task is a job or area that I assign to myself once a week to focus on)

Sunday - Bathrooms and mirrors
Monday - Kitchen
Tuesday - Master bedroom and bathroom
Wednesday - Hubby's room and bathroom (no, we don't have separate bedrooms - he keeps his clothes in the guest room and gets ready for work there in the morning so he doesn't wake me and we each have our space)
Thursday - Organize desk
Friday - Sabbath - rest
Saturday - Grocery shopping, home blessing time, desk work

Home blessing time includes: Dusting, vacuuming, mopping, changing linens, and cleaning the glass doors. The kids help out with these things, as does Hubby when need be. He's the chief mopper around these parts!

So that's the plan. Not everything will get done as often or as well as I'd like it to, but you have to set your priorities, you know? And I'm sure there will be times when I don't get everything done on the list, but at least I'll have a plan to fall back on when I'm feeling lost and rushed.

Question: What was the bigger time waster in your past week? What was the payoff for you? Did it distract you, entertain you, allow you to avoid someone? Is there a way to use your time differently and have a greater, more significant impact? Maybe you need to watch less television and to read more, or perhaps instead of surfing the Internet, you could go for a walk or get some other exercise. Come up with a short list of alternate activities you can pursue the next time you are tempted to waste time by default.

Not surprisingly, my two biggest timewasters are the ones mentioned above - tv and the Internet. Both of these suck me in and cause me to waste away hours every day. I would wager to say that my payoff is in the fact that I just don't like doing the things that require effort on my part - cleaning the toilets, hanging laundry, exercising, even reading the Bible as it requires thought and concentration.

Honestly, I prefer to be amused. Jess over at Making Home wrote an excellent post on how our modern day amusements are dulling our minds. It's a very thought-provoking piece that I've been mulling over. Here's one of the best parts:

We are in danger of being lulled to sleep, mentally, emotionally, culturally, and SPIRITUALLY-- by our amusements. When our days and nights are filled with technology, news, and fantasy games, and our homes, garages, and storage buildings are filled with toys, electronics, appliances, decorations, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff..., our minds are in danger of being overtaken, not only by our stuff (although I would argue that most Americans are indeed fixated on stuff), and not only by our amusements (although I would argue that most Americans are indeed fixated on amusements), but also by a creeping indifference to the dying, the poor, the uneducated, the spiritually dead people around the world.

When I think back to the "olden days," I think that an entirely different mindst was in place. People worked hard and took satisfaction in a job well-done. Entertainment options were limited, at best, and often consisted of a family sitting together at night reading aloud or playing music together. Yes, the work was back-breaking and time-consuming. But the family worked together and it wasn't an option. Survival often relied upon it.

Now obviously we can't go back in time. But I can try to adopt a similar mindset of work before play. I can take pride in my work and in accomplishing my goals. In order to try to escape from the mindless drivel that often occupies much of my day I want to establish a habit of making my list of goals for the day (including exercise and time with God, as well as homemaking responsibilities and enrichment activities - reading, etc.). My goals is to refrain from using both the television and computer until after I've completed those tasks.

I want to keep my mind, body and soul engaged with what I'm doing. I want to focus on the things that matter to me.

The hours and minutes I waste can never be regained.

Ha - ven (hā′vən)

noun

1. a port; harbor
2. any sheltered, safe place; refuge

Synonyms: refuge, shelter, oasis

Ok, I'm writing this post out of frustration. That means I may say things I later regret, but for right now I need to put this out there.

I know that I cannot be the only one who has children who resist helping out at home. I am sure that there are other mothers out there who, like me, dread asking their kids to help because of all the whining and complaining that will follow. I know that my children are not the only ones who believe that they are put on this earth only to play and think they should never be disturbed by parents asking them to help around the house.

There are different ways of handling the chore wars. One extreme is not to expect anything of children. I know many mothers who bear the weight of running the household alone, never making their child do so much as cleaning their plate from the table. Other families are able to afford maids and/or nannies who clean up after the child and do much of the housework.

The other extreme is to expect too much of the children, putting so much work on them that they are not able to keep up with their schoolwork, let alone enjoy being a child. These mothers often are so busy with their own pursuits (hobbies, social activities, work) that they fail to see that they are unfairly burdening their children.

There's got to be a happy medium, right?

I try to balance it all out, making sure that my kids have plenty of time to play, plenty of time to do their schoolwork and still help out. I honestly believe that helping around the house is important, for a variety of reasons. I want them to know how to take care of a house (yes, even my boy!), I want them to understand that families work together, I want them to develop a work ethic, I want them to understand the value of a neat and uncluttered home, I want them to know the satisfaction of a job well-done.

I don't seem to be getting through to them.

Just a short while ago, I asked one of my little darlings to unload the washer and put in the next load of clothes (which I had sorted and brought down). We are starting to pack for our trip in ONE SHORT WEEK (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and getting the laundry done so we actually have, you know, clean clothes to pack is top on the list. You would have thought I had asked this child to climb Mt. Everest. It didn't get done, the child kept stalling and finally I picked up the laundry basket and went to do it myself, slamming doors all the way.

On more than one occasion, my kids have told me that I put all my work off on them. Well, this child is going to get a chance to see if that's true. As punishment for not doing the laundry, he/she will be taking on ALL of the household responsibilities for the next three days. Cooking meals, doing dishes, unloading the dishwasher, laundry, dusting, picking up - all of it. Without any help from me or the other child.

Now this may seem unfair and extreme, but I thought it was more than appropriate for this child to get a taste of what a big job it is to care for a house and family and to help him/her realize why I ask for help.

What do you think? Too harsh? Not harsh enough? How do you manage chores in your house with your kids?

Ok, now, I love my husband. Really I do. But a little too much togetherness can put a strain on any relationship, right? Hello? It's been over a month of being off schedule now!

Today we are back to normal. Back to him being gone when I get up (my friend Mylinda would NEVER do that, excellent wife that she is!), and coming home around 4:30.

I feel like walking around the house singing! Does that sound horrible? I know - it does.

But I don't care!!

Now we can get back into our normal routine of schoolwork and chores and cooking and shopping. All of which is thrown off kilter when Hubby is home, as we just try to enjoy our time wiuth him to the fullest extent. He, while bordering on obsessive complusive disorder in many areas, has yet to learn the value of routine.

But over the course of the last few years, thanks in no small part to the help of FlyLady, I have learned the enourous value of routines in a home.

For instance, in our home, Thursday is shopping and cleaning day, Saturday is laundry day, etc. The kids know to rise, have breakfast, get dressed, do their chores and start their schoolwork by a certain time. I know to have dinner decided on and begin work on it by noon. We can count on Hubby coming in the door between 4:30 and 5. Dinner is around 6.

That routine makes every day go smoother and, consequently, makes everyone a happier camper. It's funny that my post today is titled "Free at Last" when I'm talking about the joys of having a routine. Many people would feel constrained by routine, desiring instead to just flow with whatever the day brings. There is a time and place for that. We all need to be open to the Lord's direction throughout the day.

But there is a quiet peace in knowing what the day ahead will bring. A sense of calm and purpose. Having a plan frees me from "the tyranny of the urgent" and allows me to focus on what my true priorities are - those things that I have purposefully determined in my heart ahead of time.

For years I struggled through the life of a homemaker who didn't have a plan, but just ran from place to place, putting out fires and trying to keep my head above water. Now, my days are busy, but calm. I have taken the time to decide what is truly important and have made the decision to focus on those things.

If you struggle with feeling like your life is out of control, I would encourage you to sit down and take some time to do some planning. This is well worth the time, I promise. Consider your priorities, then make a plan of how to focus on them. Schedules and routine, while sounding very dull and monotonous, can actually be very freeing.

Now, excuse me while I return to singing about the house.

In this week's look at Linda Dillow's book, Creative Counterpart, we take a look at our priorities. I think that this is an area where all women struggle. There are so many needs pressing in on us - the boss at work, the friend who needs a listening ear, the husband who wants to spend time with us, a home that needs cleaning, children who need tended too.

And, oh yeah, God.

It can be overwhelming, right? Where do we start? What gets our attention first?

Determining the answer to those questions in advance can make the difference between spending your life running around putting out fires and making an impact on the world around you.

Mrs. Dillow suggests that a Christian woman's priorities should fall in this order:

1) God - When our relationship with God is first and foremost in our lives, everything else will fall into place. We will have His perspective on our lives. Jesus tells us to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you as well." When we make our goal God and His glory, He will help us to accomplish all we need in other areas.

One thing we are cautioned against is mistaking "activity" for God for a "relationship" with God. We so often DO so much, but fail to spend time getting to know God better. Make sure that you aren't just running around keeping busy and letting that mask the fact that your relationship with God is stagnant. Keep close to Him through prayer, reading the Word, quiet time, and fellowship with others.

2) Husband - A very wise friend once told me that she was intent on making her marriage a priority over her children because eventually the children would grow up and make live of their own and she and her husband would still (hopefully!) have many years left together by themselves. So often we see a woman throw herself into raising her children at the expense of her relationship with her husband. Once they've grown and left the home, there isn't much of a marriage left.

But how do we show our husbands that they are our priority? After all, he's a grown man and my kids need me! Yes, sometimes it's hard work. We can be exhausted after caring for the kids all day, but our husbands still need to know that they are important to us. How do we do that?

a) By accepting him as he is - Don't try to change him. Love him unconditionally.

b) By spending time with him - Date your husband. If finances are an issue, either put the kids to be early and snuggle up on the couch to watch a movie or see if you can swap babysitting with a friend to manage some time alone. Do the things he likes to do, not just what you want to do. Go for a ride to Home Depot. It doesn't have to be all hearts and flowers, ladies. An even more special thing would be to try to do weekend getaways every so often.

c) Small gestures - Send a note in his lunchbag. Write on his bathroom mirror in lipstick. Rub his back. And be sure to be thankful for every thing he does as well. Be creative in thinking of ways to bless your husband. It doesn't have to be anything expensive or fancy - it just has to be an expression of your love. And please, please, don't wait for him to make the first move. Countless marriages have been ruined because both partners waited for the other one to show love first. That's nothing but pride, girls.

3) Children - Now, I know that we are all busy - running kids around from lesson to lesson, trying to help with homework, making dinner to feed said children. Just a short reminder to actually spend quality time with your children. Make sure to find out what's going on in their lives, pray with them, pray for them, and remember that it is our job to disciple our children. We are the ones that God has charged with their spiritual growth - not the pastor, or the Sunday school teacher, or youth worker. They all have their parts, but the main responsibility is on us. Love your kids enough to teach them about Jesus.

4) Home - Like it or not, women set the tone of the home. If we are grouchy, others around us will follow suit. If we are kind and loving, our attitude will spread. If we determine to set an atmosphere of calm and peace in our home, we will benefit from it greatly. But how can we make our homes calm and peaceful, you ask? By being prepared.

Take time to plan out your week. Sit down and think about your commitments. Plan what you will have for dinner each night so you aren't thinking about it at 5 pm that day. Decide in advance what chores need to be done and when. And a great tip from Mrs. Dillow is to plan one thing each week to show your care for all your priorities - something that will bless your relationship with God (read some new devotional book?), something special you can do for your husband (plan a date maybe?), something for each child (spend time baking cookies with Suzie, etc.), a project you can work on to beautify your home (paint the kitchen?), etc. Then take that planning time and put it all together. Plan out when you can do all of this.

Then (drumroll please!), DO IT.

Make your plans, then do the next thing on your list. Proceed to the next thing. Proceed to the next thing. What doesn't get done one day, move to the next day's list, but keep it first in priority. Stay focused on your goal of bringing peace and order to your home. Don't be overwhelmed - remember, all you have to do right now is the next thing on your list. That's not too tough, is it?

5) Yourself - Plan into your schedule time for yourself. This is a must for me. I get a little bug-eyed if I don't have some time alone. If it's hard for you because you have little ones or juggle both work or home, you have to be creative. If you work, you have a lunch hour. I used to just go sit in my car sometimes during lunch and just read or pray or listen to music. If you have little ones, develop a schedule where they all either sleep or have quiet time in their rooms at the same time. This can save your sanity.

No one likes a cranky woman and making time for yourself to dream, rest, pray, learn - it's what keeps us sane.

6) Outside the Home - Here is where we often mess up. Things outside our home often take up more of our time than they should. Friends, social gatherings, teaching Bible study (gasp!), jobs - all good and necessary things. But they must be kept in their place. Remember that our first priority is the family which God has blessed us with. No one else can care for them like we can.

I'm not saying not to get involved in any of these wonderful things. But what I am saying is to keep your perspective clear and to make sure that they higher priorities are taken care of.

One night, after a women's meeting at church I came home to an irate husband. The children were small, maybe 3 and 1, and I had left without feeding them, without doing the dishes (so there were no clean sippy cups!) and left the house a mess. My husband was rightfully upset. Don't let our social obligations take precedence over our families.

* * * *

Since I first did this study 7 years ago, these are the priorities I have tried to live my life by and I can tell you that it works. When we learn to have the balance that living our lives according to the priorities that we set in advance, it's easier to know when to say yes and when to say no.

If you start now to plan your life and really follow that plan, I can promise that you will see an improvement in your quality of life. God will bless your efforts, even if it doesn't all go perfectly at first.

Karen has some great thoughts on this chapter as well. Be sure to visit her to get her take on all of this.

Now, if you are a Rachel Ray fan, this tip will not be new to you. You may not have tried it yet though, because you just don't go in for all those new-fangled ideas, like horseless carriages and e-lectronic mail and all those modern thing-a-ma-jigs. You may just be a creature of habit like myself.

For however-many-years Rachel has had her multiple tv shows, I've been watching her cook. And we all know that her shtick is that she prepares meals quickly - 30 minutes start to finish. And I've always watched her and her bowl.

Yes, Rachel's bowl is my tip today. I resisted for a long time, but I am now a fan. If you aren't a fan of hers, aren't home when her shows are on, or like me you live somewhere that doesn't show one of her 453 different television shows (seriously, does this girl ever sleep???) maybe you don't know about the bowl. Well, let me share with you . . .

In the preparation stage of cooking, the first thing Rachel grabs is a big bowl. Then she makes her rounds through the kitchen, gathering all the necessary tools and ingredients. She stops at the fridge and freezer, the pantry, the utensil drawer. Everything she needs gets piled into her bowl and her arms. She's got it all right there, ready for use.

Then, and this is the part I love, all the garbage that is produced while cooking goes into that same bowl as she goes. Egg shells? Yep. Empty cans? You betcha. Vegetable peelings? That too. (Disclaimer: Rachel also pours excess liquids from cans into the bowl. I don't do that. After all, you don't think she's actually going to clean her kitchen, do you? No, she's got "people" who do that. I'm my own "people" and I'm not interested in pulling soggy, wet icky garbage out of the bowl or in dumping water into my garbage can. Ick!)

Now, I know it sounds simple, and it is. But I never did it until a month or so again and now I never want to go back. I love not having to pace all through my kitchen to get this and that and I really love not having to make multiple trips to the garbage can, particularly now that I don't have a garbage disposal. It's so nice to just dump everything in the bowl and keep moving. When I'm done, it all gets tossed out at once and I only have one extra bowl to toss in the dishwasher. Well worth it to me!

So that's my tip for this week. For more helpful ideas to make your life just a little bit easier, visit Rocks in My Dryer!

Welcome to our first look at Linda Dillow's wonderful book, Creative Counterpart. It is a book which has had a profound impact on me - not only as a wife to my husband, but as a mother to my kids and as a woman in general. Since I first read it and began applying it's principles, I've become more organized, have learned to set (and keep!) my priorities and I've become a better wife to my husband.

My hope is that by working through this book together, we can encourage each other, as well as learn from each other. The women of the blogosphere are an amazing group, you know! I've learned so much from so many. I look forward to this being a very interactive study with lots of healthy discussion.

Chapter one of the book, "The Honeymoon Disaster," deals with the truth that many of us go into marriage with rose-colored glasses. We don't really know what to expect, but having grown up on a diet of fairy tales, soap operas, and romance novels, we have a vague impression of what "romance" is: passion, drama, flowers and champagne. We are usually prepared for real life - bills, dishes and diapers. (Isn't it funny how you never see anyone in a soap opera doing anything related to managing a home??)

When things don't live up to the standard we are expecting, we begin to doubt our relationship and even blame ourselves. After all, if we were beautiful enough, exciting enough, clever enough, then surely our husbands would constantly be making grand gestures for us - fighting dragons, sending huge bouquets of flowers, writing poetry and singing us love songs. Right?

If you are dissatisfied with your marriage, my prayer is that this book will help you learn to accept real life - with all the wonder and promise that it holds! We will talk about relating to our husbands in new ways. We will look at ways to make our lives full of purpose and meaning. But first, let's look at what God says a woman's life should look like.


God lays it all out for us in the 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs. It's the "beautiful blueprint" referred to in the chapter title. Now, don't be discouraged because you don't live up to all that the Proverbs 31 woman is. Sometimes, we get intimidated by the audacity of a goal and choose, foolishly, to not to even attempt it. This reasoning is driven by fear. God has gifted each one of us with ALL that we need to be godly women, wives and mothers. Let's move forward with a spirit of boldness and not one of fear. You can be the woman God wants you to be!

I pray that you are not trapped by the light that today's world often presents homemakers in. Too often, the word housewife or homemaker is associated with the word drudgery. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't get all giddy when my showers are sparkling. Nor do I spend time discussing with my best friend the merits of the new laundry detergent I tried. There's way more to my life than cleaning! But the media seems to think that we have nothing else to get excited about. Wrong!!

We are blessed to given an opportunity to have our own personal mission field, right inside our own home. We don't need to go to the ghetto or to Africa to have a powerful impact on someone's life. While those are both great ideas and, if you believe God is leading you to do it that's wonderful, don't be fooled into thinking that you don't have anything constructive to offer. The raising of godly children can have a powerful impact on this world.

Sure there are frustrated housewives. Just as their are frustrated engineers (I'm married to one!), frustrated athletes, frustrated data processors. "But the frustration does not stem from the nature of the work; rather it comes from the boredom inevitable in any job done poorly or unimaginatively." (Creative Counterpart, page 5)

When we recognize that being a creative counterpart is a calling, a vocation, we understand that we are making a decision to embrace that for all it's worth. We should work and learn and grow just as hard as if we were in the corporate world and aiming for the president's office. This premise is what lead me to write my post on being a professional homemaker.

But let's step back and look at the Proverbs 31 woman again. Notice that there is no description of who she is or what she looks like. God focuses on her inner qualities. Most of them can be boiled down to just a few words.


Trustworthy

Can your husband trust you? I don't just mean with regards to being faithful or telling the truth What I mean is can he be confident in the knowledge that you will "do him good and not evil all the days of her life?"

Does he know that when he leaves for work in the morning, if you've chosen to be a stay at home mom, that when he returns he will find order and peace in the home and amongst the family? Or does he return to chaos? Does he have confidence in your ability to manage your household affairs.

Does he know that you will live within the budget you have set together, or does he have to worry that you are spending money foolishly, without concern for your goals as a couple?

Perhaps most importantly, does he know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will never bring dishonor to his name? Have you made a decision in your heart not to use him as the butt of jokes? Not to confide in a best friend about all his faults?

Have you determined in your heart that you will do everything for his benefit? Consider every word and action and thing about what will build him up and help him. Phillipians 2:4 tells us,



Industrious

Are you willing to work hard, or do you look for excuses to avoid unpleasant tasks? Our Scripture tells us that the Proverbs 31 woman, "works willingly with her hands." Willingly. I know that this is somethign I struggle mightily with. I don't wake up every morning with loads of energy, just dying to tackle my household chores. But we see here that our attitude matters.

1 Peter 4: 10-11 is clear - whatever we do, we are to do it to the glory of God.


If we work joyfully for the Lord, knowing that we are doing His will, we serve by His strength. This lets us know that our work is not just mindless, repetitive drudgery. Yes, the dishes will need to be done again tomorrow. Yes, the baby will need to be changed in a couple of hours. Yes, the laundry never stops piling up. But still we are doing this in His power and for His glory.

And now we come to a verse that I have been convicted to memorize:

Outreach to Others - Continue to minister to women through my blog (smile - I hope!) and investigate ways to help the immigrant laborers here in Doha.

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Whew!! That was pretty long, wasn't it? If you are still here, thank you! I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please feel free to comment. If you are joining in on the study, please post a link to your own post below in Mr. Linky. I look forward to reading your take!!

Last June I shared with you my daily cleaning routines. I think that having a plan is the first step in regaining and then maintaining control of your home, especially for those of us who are, by nature, not Martha Stewart wannabes.

I've updated my routines a little bit and wanted to commit to them here on the blog. Often, just the act of letting someone else in on my plans makes me feel more accountable to follow through with them. Here is my new schedule for keeping our home a place of order:

~Saturday~ Loft, living room, spend one hour on a special project to beautify the home

~Sunday~ Off

~Monday~ Master bedroom and bathroom, guest bedroom and bathroom

~Tuesday~ Laundry room and Daniel's room

~Wednesday~ Kitchen and family room

~Thursday~ Grocery shoppping, any necessary errands

~Friday~ Off


A few notes:

During each day, I have time set aside for "focus cleaning," by which I mean cleaning the area designated for that day. That includes everything that needs to be done in that room: dusting, vacuuming, changing bed linens, straightening up, etc. I used to have a "weekly home blessing" time (which included all those things above) budgeted in (a la Flylady) but decided that, for me, it's easier to break it down into smaller chunks rather than try to do it all at once.

Also, in the previous post I included a "weekly yard blessing" time, but as I explain below, that's no longer necessary.

I've been very blessed that my husband has hired someone to come in and do the work outside of the house, as well as vacuum and mop for me once a week. Honestly, the man spent 3 hours just doing my floors this week, so this is a huge burden off me and I'm so grateful. Now, before any jealousy sets in, remember where I'm living. Services are VERY inexpensive here - I paid the man the equivalent of $18 for over 5 hours of work. I would never have indulged in this back in the States, but the man needs the work and I need the help.

And the final note is one that I'm very proud to share with you. On my previous schedule, one of the days included cleaning Emily's bedroom and bathroom. Since moving here, she has taken such good care of her room. She always keeps it so nice and neat and is enjoying decorating and re-decorating it herself. I'm proud that she is proving to be a mature and responsible young lady, who no longer needs to be told to clean her room. Whoo-hoo!! They do get to that point, ladies!!

If you haven't yet sat down and made a plan for keeping your home organized, and you feel as though you are always behind, give it a shot. Just having a goal for the day, something manageable, will motivate you to get it checked off your list. And before you know it, your home will begin to take shape and be a refuge for you and your family.