Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Caps for Sale

I've decided that I wear too many caps.  (Not actual hats, of course.  I have an unusually large head and hats don't generally fit on it.)  What I'm referring to is the number of roles I play.  It's nothing new really, this multiple hat-wearing.  As any mother knows, we all wear enough hats to fill Imelda Marcos' shoe closet - wife, mother, cook, housekeeper, nursemaid, teacher, chauffeur...the list could go on and on.

Adding in full- time employee has seemingly pushed me right over the edge.  I've been working for one year now.  It's been a hard year, full of adjustments and letting go of expectations.  I've had to learn to give myself permission to not feel guilty for being the perfect Suzy Homemaker that I always dreamed of being.  To be honest, home-cooked meals only happen about 2/3 of the time - our local Arabic restaurant's number is stored in my memory and I can dial it in my sleep.  Dominos and KFC are getting quite bit more of our business than ever before, as well.

Housekeeping standards haven't been exactly up to snuff either.  Mind you, I was never the best housekeeper in the world to start with.  (Mother - stop laughing!)  But in the last few years I had really gotten on track by implementing routines and was so proud of myself for really pulling the house into shape.  Now I'm happy with myself if I get the dinner dishes done.  By the time I get home, prepare dinner, help with homework and do a very basic tidying up, I'm D-O-N-E.  

Having the weekend be reversed doesn't help either.  Since weekends here are Friday-Saturday, and church meets on Fridays because many people, Hubby included, work on Saturdays (yes, he works a 6-day week!!  UGH!), that means that the weekend starts off with the day of rest/church.  Somehow that has completely thrown me.  I absolutely don't want to do anything on Friday after church, but then that lethargy carries over onto Saturdays.  I always grew up that the first day of the weekend you did your housekeeping, gardening, errands and then the next day you rested.  I just can't seem to get the hang of it being swapped.  It just seems...wrong.

So much as I would like to, I can't really sell any of my hats.  I just have to find a way to wear them with more panache.  One issue is the overwhelming fatigue I've been dealing with.  The last few nights I've been in bed by 8:30 - totally out of character for me.  I've been trying to get more exercise, attending Zumba classes and hitting the gym a few nights a week, but that just seems to make me even more tired.  I'm thinking that maybe some vitamins or something, but I don't know what.  Any advice?

I'm thinking that I strongly need to get back to using routines - even if they are vastly different from the previous ones I had in place.  Less ambition, more accomplishment.  I think I've just kind of given up - since I can't get as much done as I really want to, why bother.  All my wonderful meal plans have fallen by the wayside as well.  :(

I think I'm at the point now where a year is long enough to get into the flow of things.  It's time to stop making excuses and start making things happen.  We have spring break coming up next week, so I guess I should use that time to sit down and figure out routines and plans that realistically work for me in my current situation, so be looking for some "Routines for the Working Woman" in the next couple of weeks.  

That gives me one week to continue my sluggish ways.  I'd better go buy some Cheetos and soda and clear a space on the couch!!


stacey said...

Wish I knew the answer!

Mrs. American Wife said...

Dear Lori: I don't get a chance to read your blog as much as I would like (forget even posting comments), but today I gave myself a minute to stop by. I just wanted to let you know that I gain so much encouragement from your writing the few times I have had a chance to read it, and am looking forward to a time when I can read it all from the beginning. I appreciate your sharing of this adventure your family is on, especially the struggles you endure in adjusting to a new culture and way of life (especially transitioning from sahm to working mom... been there and back. I can identify!) God bless your efforts, and your time in Qatar. And most of all, may God grant you peace in this new stage of motherhood, and the wisdom to work it out right. You'll be ok.
Much love!

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