Showing posts with label Being A Working Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Being A Working Mom. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Caps for Sale
I've decided that I wear too many caps. (Not actual hats, of course. I have an unusually large head and hats don't generally fit on it.) What I'm referring to is the number of roles I play. It's nothing new really, this multiple hat-wearing. As any mother knows, we all wear enough hats to fill Imelda Marcos' shoe closet - wife, mother, cook, housekeeper, nursemaid, teacher, chauffeur...the list could go on and on.
Adding in full- time employee has seemingly pushed me right over the edge. I've been working for one year now. It's been a hard year, full of adjustments and letting go of expectations. I've had to learn to give myself permission to not feel guilty for being the perfect Suzy Homemaker that I always dreamed of being. To be honest, home-cooked meals only happen about 2/3 of the time - our local Arabic restaurant's number is stored in my memory and I can dial it in my sleep. Dominos and KFC are getting quite bit more of our business than ever before, as well.
Housekeeping standards haven't been exactly up to snuff either. Mind you, I was never the best housekeeper in the world to start with. (Mother - stop laughing!) But in the last few years I had really gotten on track by implementing routines and was so proud of myself for really pulling the house into shape. Now I'm happy with myself if I get the dinner dishes done. By the time I get home, prepare dinner, help with homework and do a very basic tidying up, I'm D-O-N-E.
Having the weekend be reversed doesn't help either. Since weekends here are Friday-Saturday, and church meets on Fridays because many people, Hubby included, work on Saturdays (yes, he works a 6-day week!! UGH!), that means that the weekend starts off with the day of rest/church. Somehow that has completely thrown me. I absolutely don't want to do anything on Friday after church, but then that lethargy carries over onto Saturdays. I always grew up that the first day of the weekend you did your housekeeping, gardening, errands and then the next day you rested. I just can't seem to get the hang of it being swapped. It just seems...wrong.
So much as I would like to, I can't really sell any of my hats. I just have to find a way to wear them with more panache. One issue is the overwhelming fatigue I've been dealing with. The last few nights I've been in bed by 8:30 - totally out of character for me. I've been trying to get more exercise, attending Zumba classes and hitting the gym a few nights a week, but that just seems to make me even more tired. I'm thinking that maybe some vitamins or something, but I don't know what. Any advice?
I'm thinking that I strongly need to get back to using routines - even if they are vastly different from the previous ones I had in place. Less ambition, more accomplishment. I think I've just kind of given up - since I can't get as much done as I really want to, why bother. All my wonderful meal plans have fallen by the wayside as well. :(
I think I'm at the point now where a year is long enough to get into the flow of things. It's time to stop making excuses and start making things happen. We have spring break coming up next week, so I guess I should use that time to sit down and figure out routines and plans that realistically work for me in my current situation, so be looking for some "Routines for the Working Woman" in the next couple of weeks.
That gives me one week to continue my sluggish ways. I'd better go buy some Cheetos and soda and clear a space on the couch!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A Shift in the Paradigm
I've been doing a little thinking lately and I've realized that I've been handling becoming a "working mother" all wrong. Since I started working about a month and a half ago, our home life has basically been allowed to go to seed. Here's just a little snippet of what it's been like lately:
- "Mom, there aren't any clean forks!!"
- "Honey, do I have any clean shirts?!"
- "Uh, Mom? Why do your legs feel like a Sasquatch?!"
- "Sandwiches for dinner again???"
It's not been pleasant.
I've been falling into the trap of our day - allowing the urgent to take precedence over the important. I feel like I do nothing but run from one fire to another, trying to put them all out before my house burns down.
Last week I was thumbing through one of my Elizabeth George books, Life Management for Busy Women. Boy do I feel like I need this book more than ever! I was reminded that, even though I am now working, my priorities should not, can not, change. They must remain now and ever more God first, husband second, children third, home fourth and anything else after that. I need to start to take steps to reclaim my life and not let myself get overwhelmed by the busy-ness I now encounter.
Even though I'm now what the world refers to as a working mother, I have decided not to think of myself in those terms. Instead, I'm trying to reteach my brain to think of myself as a mother who works. It may seem like silly semantics, but I think it will help me to remember that my first call is to my family.
The whole reason I'm working is for my family. Financially, it's no longer feasible for me to be home what with our real estate investments having gone south and having put the kids into a great, but expensive, school. But what good is it if I can't pull myself together enough to be a good wife and mother? If I'm too tired to be kind and loving? If I'm too disorganized to provide my family with the basics?
So the question is how do I go about not just changing my way of thinking, but applying it to real life? I mean, the reality is that I have to keep working (although it would be lovely if Hubby said I could just come back home!). Just calling myself by something different isn't actually going to make the workload any lighter. I have to work smarter, not harder.
One of the first things I've done is to purchase a white board which I've used to manage all the information I need to use each day. I divided it into 8 boxes - one for each day plus an extra box for making note of things I need to add to the grocery shopping list. Within each day's box, I make note of what we'll be having for dinner (in red), events or afterschool activities (in green), who is in charge of preparing devotions (in black - and please don't think we are so super-spiritual because of this. We've only been doing it for a week or two and purely out of sheer necessity for the Word of God to regain precedence in our home), and major homework projects or test dates for my kids (in blue).
In just the week I've been using it, the board has helped me tremendously. I have it on display in the kitchen and each morning I am reminded to thaw something for dinner, or that we will be at school late due to rock climbing club. I no longer find out about an exam the morning of the exam on the way to school. It's simply helped me to breathe a little easier and to not feel so panicked all the time.
And as for that workload? Well, I have to admit that I've been very blessed to have a husband who will jump in and help out. He's helped out with laundry, dishes, mopping and more and I don't even have to ask. Even better, he doesn't mind at all!
I've also learned that there are some things that I have to let go. While I would love to provide my family with a spotless house all the time, it's probably not going to happen very often right now. But I can focus on the big things that need done and get to the rest when I can. I may not be able to cook meals that are as elaborate as those I used to make, but with proper planning I can provide healthy, tasty meals that will nourish us.
It's a matter of priorities and balance. Yes, I'd love for everything to be perfect. But in all honesty, it wasn't perfect when I was a stay at home, homeschooling mom either. It's easy to romanticize how things used to be. However, the time has come for me to stop being wistful about being a stay at home mom and roll up my sleeves and get busy.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
4 Week Menu Plan
Way back when, I posted an 8 Week Menu Plan. It was grand, it was ambitious, it worked fabulously.
But now we are down to the nitty-gritty. Now that I'm working, I need simple, easy stuff in my life. So here's what I did. I went through that list, picked out our family's favorites that were also EASY. Easy was really, really important. I allowed myself one day a week to do something more time-intensive, but mostly I want the quick and simple recipes. Here is one month's worth of menu plans:
Week 1
Pot roast in the crockpot with vegetables
Tacos
Mahlouba
Open (I do this once a week to try something new or go out or order take out)
Week 2
Koosa Mahshi (Lebanese stuffed squash)
Lasagna
Open
Week 3
Sandwiches
Cauliflower Soup
Open
Week 4
Bezella (An Arabic beef stew)
Curry Cajun Chicken
Corn Chowder
Shepherd's Pie
Open
So those are the weekly menus. I'm going to be working on developing weekly shopping lists to go along with them, so I'll post them once I've got them ready. It makes it a breeze to do your menu planning and shopping when you've got it all laid out in front of you already. And four weeks is still plenty of time to rotate menus so that you don't get bored with the dishes.
Making life easy. Works for me!!!! For more ideas that work for busy women, visit We Are THAT Family.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Routines for this Working Mom
Well, as promised, I've taken some time this week to re-examine my routines. Things obviously had to change once I started working full-time. I haven't gotten much else done this week as I'm still pretty much flat on my back from my trachea/pharynx/whatever infection. I had such great hopes to do so much work in the house during our spring break, but I've been pleased to get a meal on the table, a load or two of laundry done and dishes washed. Hubby and Daniel have been so sweet and helpful.
I've broken the routines down into time frames. It's kind of like little checklists to do at each part of the day. I'm blessed in that, even though I work full-time, I'm still home by 4 pm. I work from 7:30 to 3:30. That gives me plenty of time to get dinner ready and do a little housework, as well as do some homework help, before, say 6 pm.
Morning Routines: (Waking up at 5:30 and leaving the house at 7 am)
Make bed
Do 30 min on treadmill or a 3 min exercise video
Shower and dress
Swish toilets/swipe bathroom sink
Hang laundry washed the night before
Decide what's for dinner and defrost something if needed
Kids: Unload dishwasher, take out garbage, feed dog
Afternoon Routines: (To be done between 4pm and 6 pm)
Fold clothes hung in the morning
Finish cooking dinner
Help with homework
Focus task (explained below)
Evening Routines: (To be done before bed)
Wash dishes
Clean counters, sink and table
Run a load of clothes
Prepare clothes and lunches for morning
Focus Tasks
(A focus task is a job or area that I assign to myself once a week to focus on)
Sunday - Bathrooms and mirrors
Monday - Kitchen
Tuesday - Master bedroom and bathroom
Wednesday - Hubby's room and bathroom (no, we don't have separate bedrooms - he keeps his clothes in the guest room and gets ready for work there in the morning so he doesn't wake me and we each have our space)
Thursday - Organize desk
Friday - Sabbath - rest
Saturday - Grocery shopping, home blessing time, desk work
Home blessing time includes: Dusting, vacuuming, mopping, changing linens, and cleaning the glass doors. The kids help out with these things, as does Hubby when need be. He's the chief mopper around these parts!
So that's the plan. Not everything will get done as often or as well as I'd like it to, but you have to set your priorities, you know? And I'm sure there will be times when I don't get everything done on the list, but at least I'll have a plan to fall back on when I'm feeling lost and rushed.
I've broken the routines down into time frames. It's kind of like little checklists to do at each part of the day. I'm blessed in that, even though I work full-time, I'm still home by 4 pm. I work from 7:30 to 3:30. That gives me plenty of time to get dinner ready and do a little housework, as well as do some homework help, before, say 6 pm.
Morning Routines: (Waking up at 5:30 and leaving the house at 7 am)
Make bed
Do 30 min on treadmill or a 3 min exercise video
Shower and dress
Swish toilets/swipe bathroom sink
Hang laundry washed the night before
Decide what's for dinner and defrost something if needed
Kids: Unload dishwasher, take out garbage, feed dog
Afternoon Routines: (To be done between 4pm and 6 pm)
Fold clothes hung in the morning
Finish cooking dinner
Help with homework
Focus task (explained below)
Evening Routines: (To be done before bed)
Wash dishes
Clean counters, sink and table
Run a load of clothes
Prepare clothes and lunches for morning
Focus Tasks
(A focus task is a job or area that I assign to myself once a week to focus on)
Sunday - Bathrooms and mirrors
Monday - Kitchen
Tuesday - Master bedroom and bathroom
Wednesday - Hubby's room and bathroom (no, we don't have separate bedrooms - he keeps his clothes in the guest room and gets ready for work there in the morning so he doesn't wake me and we each have our space)
Thursday - Organize desk
Friday - Sabbath - rest
Saturday - Grocery shopping, home blessing time, desk work
Home blessing time includes: Dusting, vacuuming, mopping, changing linens, and cleaning the glass doors. The kids help out with these things, as does Hubby when need be. He's the chief mopper around these parts!
So that's the plan. Not everything will get done as often or as well as I'd like it to, but you have to set your priorities, you know? And I'm sure there will be times when I don't get everything done on the list, but at least I'll have a plan to fall back on when I'm feeling lost and rushed.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I Don't Think I Was Cut Out For This Working Thing
I know, I know. Millions of women work full-time jobs every day.
HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DO IT!!!!
I am really trying to figure out how to get everything done. By the time I get home from work and help the kids with their homework, I'm completely exhausted, dinner isn't cooked, laundry isn't done, and the house looks like a tornado went through it.
Thank goodness today is the last day before spring break. I plan on spending that time trying to figure out new routines and schedules. I am the queen of list-making, as my family continually makes fun of me for. But those routines saved my sanity back when I was homeschooling. I'm hoping that I can work some of that magic to make this whole working woman thing go a little smoother.
I just really didn't realize how much harder it would be. The big issues I'm struggling with seem to be getting dinner on the table, getting the laundry done and doing the grocery shopping. The laundry and the grocery shopping are just things that are more difficult here to start with. With no dryer, the laundry requires much more time to hang everything to dry and then it all needs ironed to be wearable. Grocery shopping requires at least a stop at two different stores to get everything on my list.
So by the end of this break, look for some new routines to be posted. I'm also planning on working on my new 101 in 1001 list. Between the above-mentioned problems and Emily's pneumonia, I've just not been able to get to it. But I'm excited to get to some of this stuff.
May I just say that I'm also very excited to sleep in for a few days?!
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