Sunday, December 9, 2007

Thinking too much about stuff

So last night as I was driving back to my folks' house from the grocery store, I started thinking.

Which is never a good thing.

I was thinking that we are coming back into town on the 19th and that my husband will be leaving on the 3rd of January.

That's just two short weeks together before we are separated for two to three months.

And I started bawling in the car. I mean, I have never been home without my husband for more than a day or two. I've gone off and visited my parents. I've gone off and visited his parents. I've gone to ladies' retreats. But he has never gone away for more than two nights and those were camping with the kids.

And I did not like those nights. As I would go about my business at night, the wall of French doors all along the back of my house made me feel like I was open to the world. Who knew what could be lurking out there? I would get into bed, feeling nervous and vulnerable. Hubby just makes me feel safe.

And now it will be for nights on end. I am so thankful that I have an all-powerful God who I know will take care of me and my children. I'm thankful that I have good friends who will be there to help with our needs.

And while I'm sure (as many of my friends say) that there might be some enjoyment in the fact that I won't have to iron or cook or do any of the myriad of tasks that come with having a husband, it won't make up for the loneliness. The minute he gets home from work is usually the best minute of the day. I greet him at the door and he wraps me in his arms and I feel so...satisfied.

It's going to be a long, long separation.


ValleyGirl said...

It will, but you might be surprised how quickly it goes. I'm usually alone during the week and this winter, hubby's going up north for 2 months again. When he was gone last winter, though I thought it would be the end of the world, I found it wasn't that bad. I think -- for me anyway -- the thought of it was far worse than the actual reality of it. I hope it'll work that way for you, too.

And knowing he'll be leaving and you'll be separated for a while will make those 2 weeks you have together at Christmas that much more special.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I know what you mean. I feel the same way when my husband is gone overnight. I live for those moments when we are together. Hang in there! said...

my husband has been gone on business this month and, yes, there's less work but OH it is so hard. how encouraging to hear how you are trusting the Lord in this time...

Andrea said...

Wow...I'd be feeling exactly the same. Whenever my hubby goes away -- even for a weekend like he just did -- I usually hang out at my parents' place. It's just easier and yes, more safe! I hope it all goes well and that the time will pass quicker than you think it will.


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