Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Apparently I Was NOT Born on a Tuesday

Do you remember that old rhyme,

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

I am so clearly not a Tuesday's child. There is not a graceful bone in my body. Particularly when it comes to stairs. Going down them specifically.

Once some girlfriends and I went down the the Florida Keys for a girls' weekend. Just the four of us in a condo. While packing up and going home, I was carrying an ice chest (full of food, mind you) down the stairs to the car. I slipped and while nothing was injured but my pride, all the food was now spilled and splattered all over the stairs.

Another time I fell down the stairs at church, fortunately catching myself on the handrail after about 4 or 5 steps.

I got to the point where I always took the elevator down the stairs at our local library because I couldn't bear the thought of falling in such a public place.

Until now.

The other day I ran over to the nearest grocery store to pick up something I needed for dinner. As I was coming out, my foot slipped on the dusty, granite stairs (have I mentioned how dusty it is here?!?). I went down the entire staircase on my shins and my left ankle. I have no idea how I ended up in that position, but I have the bruises to prove it.

When I finally hit the bottom I sat (well, whatever you call it when you are on your shins) there for a second, stunned and in pain. Did I point out that the stairs were granite and very sharp at the edges? I looked around for help, but saw only men. Muslim men.

Muslim men will not touch a woman (like to help her get up!) or, for that matter, even acknowledge a woman most of the time. Not because they are unkind, but because it is considered taboo in this culture. Who knows, a woman like me, blond and clearly Western? I might have just thrown my body at them. Well, dragging my bleeding and swollen left leg behind me.

So I struggled to my feet and hobbled to my car. I managed to get in and get the car started. I refused to cry. Well, at least until I got out of the parking lot so they couldn't see me. Then I burst into tears and lost it.

Just that morning I was doing research on hospitals and found that there is an excellent one nearby, so I drove by it just to make sure I knew where it was. I got home and honked for the kids who came out and helped me into the house and got my leg elevated with ice on the ankle.

Nothing's broken, except for my pride, but I do have two huge, swollen contusions (sounds more serious than bruises) on my left shin and ankle. After all, I was born on a Monday, so that means I'm fair of face. That doesn't apply to my legs apparently.

8 comments:

Leeann said...

ROFLMAO!!

Lori, you poor thing. That must have hurt HORRIBLY but DANG, is it a good story to tell. And I was laughing aloud at the telling..very well done! I could imagine it all.

I would think all that dust would be hard to get used to. Does it bother you or any of your kids allergy-wise?

Leeann

ValleyGirl said...

Oh, Lori. I hope your kids are pampering you today. And that you never have to go to that particular grocery store ever again!!

stacey said...

oh dear!

i hope you recover soon!

Josie Kuntz said...

Poor dear! Glad you're ok!

Claire said...

Oh no! That's awful!

I took a spill last July while I was visiting friends in TX. I blew out my MCL, and hobbled around for several months with a brace on my knee. It still bugs me sometimes. I'm glad you didn't do long-term damage.

Amy said...

I miss you and I'm so glad nothings is broken. Thanks for visiting my blog. I will start blogging more. I'll pray for quick healling.
-Amy

Karen said...

Life is an adventure is it not?

I suppose the next time you want to fall down (like you get to choose), you should check to see if there are women around first. Or at least take one of the kids with you.

glad you're okay.

Love Bears All Things said...

Sounds just like me! I won't recount the times and places but I always hold to bannisters now and walk slow and careful. The last time was a month ago when I fell into the door of the quilt store. I hit a table with my left ribs underneath my arm. Man it hurt. No one saw me, thankfully.
I hope the bruises disappear soon. Sad that the men couldn't help.
Mama Bear

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