Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Fast - Update

So my total fast is over. I didn't post about it earlier because I wanted to take time to do it justice.

Three days. That is by far the longest I have ever gone without food. And you know what? I'm fine. Yesterday was a little rough. I felt a little weak and exceedingly tired. During Bible study, I couldn't really focus very well. If you were there and I said something completely incoherent, please forgive me! LOL!!

But to be honest, I was completely amazed at how God sustained me throughout the three days. I honestly didn't struggle with any physical hunger pains until late on the second day. The toughest thing was the emotional pull of food.

That in and of itself showed me how much of my food issues are psychological, not physical. There was one particular moment when I was stressed out about something here at home. I was upset and angry and my first instinct was to go to the kitchen and find something to eat. It was like that would honestly make me feel better.

The thing that kept me from giving in was constant repetition of the following phrase:

"I want You more than I want anything, Lord."

And I do. I want God to be the most important thing in my life. Without holding anything back, without keeping Him out of any part of my life. I'm ready to give Him everything.

You know, when I moved to Doha I thought that was the biggest leap of faith ever. Trusting God to lead me to a strange country, leaving behind friends, family and everything familiar. Now I see that this whole food issue is even harder for me. It's a habit ingrained on my brain to turn to food when I'm bored, lonely or stressed. I'm praying that through this fast, and through my "daylight hours" fast for the next five days, that I learn to turn to God first rather than the pantry.

Because God deserves all of me. He gave His all for me. All that I have is His.

And that's the way it should be.


Rachel said...

Oh wow, what an amazing post!

You have really challenged me to step back and really observe my own eating habits. Thanks for this!

Will you continue to fast for the rest of Ramadan?

melissa said...

Lori, seriously, you should write some type of devotional book. You just *get* it and have such a gift for words and you are so motivating and inspirational.

Nancy M. said...

I am sure my eating is emotional usually, not actual physical hunger.

I think it's great that you are feeling closer to Him.


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