Saturday, April 18, 2009

Insane, Delusional Crazy-Man Story Telling

Ok, I realize that I may be one of the few people left who will own up to still watching Survivor.  But I love it!  You get to see people do things they would (hopefully!) never do in real-life.

Like blatantly lie and expect the entire world to believe them.

If you watched this week's episode of Survivor, you know that Coach shared a little bit of his life story with the world.  It was quite interesting. Interesting in the "I'm completely out of my mind to think that anyone would believe any part of this story" way.  

Now, Coach has already proven himself to be utterly delusional.  Consistently referring to himself as "The Dragonslayer," insisting that he started the whole Samurai-hairstyle thing, taking credit for strategy decisions that he had no part in other than to jump on someone else's coattails, and more.  But two things stuck out last night that just left our family in stitches.

First, as the show opened we got to see Coach standing hip-deep in water doing some kind of strange warrior-posing type thing.  Last week's version of this was better since it was scored to this rising crescendo of music.  (Note to self: contact show producers and ask them to make this a regular feature.)  As his tribemates made fun of him when he emerged from the water, he informed them that he was doing Chong-Ram, which of course no one had ever heard of.  That, according to Coach, is because it is un-Google-able and not on Wikipedia because it is only taught by Tibetan monks and he had to go to a monastery to learn it.  Now it seems to me that most of those martial arts things that are taught in those monasteries are, in fact, able to be found with a quick search.  But not the one Coach does, oh no!

Then to top it off, he decides to share a fireside story that night. In this story, he is dropped by military helicopter from several feet off the ground into the jungles of Peru.  As he is kayaking down the Amazon, he is suddenly attacked by a group of short, indigenous people.  They beat him with clubs, tie him to a stake in a hut and continue to beat him with clubs.  Through some stroke of "Coach-ness" he manages to escape his bonds, sneak out of the hut and escape with his kayak.

As his tribe sat in stunned silence, only Brendan was able to say anything to confront this outrageous story, asking, "How much does it cost to get a military helicopter to do that?"  Coach replies, "Nothing.  I pulled some strings."  Because don't all college soccer coaches have favors to call in with the Peruvian military?  Oh, and by the way, National Geographic wanted to follow him along on his journey and document it, but told them no because it was just about him and his personal journey.  Uh-huh.

I don't know why I felt compelled to share this story on the blog.  I guess it was just so funny to me that people can make things up like this.  Now, if he comes up with some kind of proof that the story is true, I will eat my words and happily post an apology.  But for now, it just seems like Survivor has found the most mentally delusional person they've ever had.

8 comments:

ValleyGirl said...

It totally all sounds like a crock to me too. Some good comic relief. Here's an interesting read though: http://www.realitytvmagazine.com/blog/2009/03/04/survivor-coach-ben-wade-crack-pot-or-crook/

Even more interesting are all the comments after the article.

Just me~ Bobbie Jo said...

I love watching survior and I to thought Coach's story was far fetched but it did make good tv. :)

Tracye said...

I like Survivor, but I have no idea when it's on anymore. Also, usually the kids are still up, and it's not really something I want them to see or hear!

But that story is priceless! I've been sitting here googling everything you said!

Caitlyn said...

Sounds a lot like the spin we get here in the good old USA from the liberal media! lol

Leeann said...

Be the wizard, Stephen, be the wizard.

What a freakazoid!

Mylinda said...

Well, now that I got dish tv, I can actually get the channel Survivor is on, and boy have I missed it. That's my all-time fav reality show. Don't know why, except that maybe it's because we enjoy watching "city people" try to survive in the wilderness. Nicky could do awesome on that show. lol I taped this week's episode, and haven't watched it yet, but I always suspected Coach was a little off. Should be fun watching it! :-)

Nancy M. said...

He does seem to have been everywhere and done everything. He SO got on my nerves this last episode. I can't believe they didn't get rid of him.

TJ said...

We haven't been watching Survivor lately, as it has conflicted with another show (my pregnant brain can't remember which one now), but I'm sorry I missed that.

How ridiculous!!!! I may have to watch that episode online.

Hope you are doing well. I haven't commented lately, but have been praying for you and thinking of you.

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