Monday, January 12, 2009
The past week has been very hard. We have been hit with one thing after another, in every different arena you could imagine. Physical ailments, emotional struggles, scary events - we've had 'em all.

I've been in a foul mood most of the time. I've allowed my emotions to take over. I'm ashamed of who I've been this week. I've screamed at my children until my throat was raw. I've cried over the silliest of things. I've moped away hours on end. I've done everything except turn to God.

Of course.

This is my pattern. Only after falling just about as far as I can go do I think of turning to God. I struggle and fight and bemoan my circumstances. I cry and worry. I get angry and bitter.

And, as is often the case, it is music that brings me back. Music has a way of speaking to my soul and reminding me that in God there is hope and redemption. As I drove home last night I had an old, old cassette tape playing. One of my favorite bands of all time, Lone Justice. It's one of those bands that isn't really a Christian band, but their lyrics are infused with Christian imagery. I believe that the lead singer and songwriter is a Christian. Unfortunately, they only released two albums before breaking up.

I was particularly struck by one of the lyrics in a song called Beacon. I wasn't able to find the complete lyrics online, but the line that struck me was this:

"Victory hides in darkest places."
It's usually in the worst of times that we are able to truly see God work. I need to remember to allow Him to work in me (and through me). As long as I allow myself to wallow in my misery and frustrations, as I long as I try to conquer my problems by my own will and power, I will fail. I'll be continually disappointed in myself.
But if I allow God to draw forth the victory from the dark places, peace will follow. And yes, the victory is often hiding. We don't see how something good, even great, can come from something good at the time. But if we look back over the course of our lives, we can often see that it was through something that initially appeared to be bad that great joy came to our life.

I think the trick is to fully trust God, in the good and the bad, and allow Him to work. Harder than it sounds, but better than we can imagine.


Anonymous said...

I hope you'll have a better week this week, Lori. I agree about music. Certain songs have meaning that we need to hear at just that moment, or melodies that are relaxing or soothing. Just one of God's amazing gifts!

Nancy M. said...

I have had those weeks. In fact just a few weeks ago I was feeling pretty much the same as you. God helped us both through! I hope you'll have an awesome week this week!

stacey said...

i pray that things will settle down again for you guys!

linda said...

I found you on makinghome and you have an interesting blog, i have 3 kids 9,6 and 20 month old. The older 2 are girls and I am thinking of homechooling. They go to a small christian school i love. i just don't want to pull them out for the wrong reasons. i think im scared of school in the teenage years. What do you think is best at that age?

Amy said...

This was my night time devotion on Jan. 12th.
Ps. 23:1,3 "The Lord is my Shepherd...He refreshes and restores my life...He leads me in the paths of righteousness...not for my earning it... but for His name's sake.

This psalms is a great comfort and encouragment. Your Shepherd refreshes and restores you life, or as the King James Version says, your soul.

The word restore means,"to return to a former condition," to refresh. In this psalm David is telling you God will return you to the state you were in before you erred from folling the good plan He had predestined for you before your birth.

God's plan for you is not failure, misery, poverty, sichness, or desease. His plan is for you to have a wonderful life full of health, happiness, and fulfillment.

So don't let the devil steal it away form you. The evening is a great time to quietly wait in the presence of the Lord and allow HIm to refresh and restore you soul.

This devotion was taken from Ending YOur Day Right, Year long devotional by Joyce Meyer.

We have a week like that Lori. I'll pray for you.


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