The Simple Life at Home

Ok, nothing like schizophrenia or anything like that. But if you've ever watched me load the dishwasher, you will notice that I am severely OCD about it. When my mom is here visiting, she doesn't even try to help with the dishes anymore. When my mother in law is visiting, I stand by anxiously watching as she does the dishes (she insists - trust me, I'd be much happier if she would just go sit down!). Then the moment she leaves the kitchen, I correct her obviously thoughtless placement of dirty dishes into the ever powerful dishwasher. I mean, c'mon people, there's a right way and a wrong way to load the dishwasher!

The glasses go along the outsides of the top shelf, alternating glass and plastic ones, if possible. If not, then we alternate tall glasses with shorter glasses so the tall ones don't bang up against each other. And the plates? Oh, the plates must go facing from the left to the right along the back. Bowls and pans can go wherever there's room. Obviously they aren't as picky.

But the real thing that causes me to believe that I'm just a wee bit nutsy about this is the silverware. My, how the silverware taunts me. Because we all know about nesting. Nesting is when two spoons (or forks or whatever) rest up against each other so that the backside of one and the frontside of the other DON'T GET CLEAN! Therefore, the silverware must go into the basket very thoughtfully. So we start at one end (my basket has 4 compartments in a row) and work our way up and down the basket, putting in one stinkin' item at a time! First we put in all the large, tall things. Then we move on to knives, then forks. Spoons come last because a) they take up more room and b) they are more likely to nest. This way I can control (think I have control issues?) the little bugger's tendency to snuggle up together.

The other day after finishing up the dishes and cleaning the counters, I found a butter knife that had somehow hidden itself behind the crockpot. And I stood there, completely frustrated and perplexed because (drumroll please)...I couldn't remember where in the basket I had placed the last item! So the whole balance of the basket would be thrown off!! Ya'll, you can't imagine how hard it was for me to put that knife in, knowing it wasn't going to be in the right place.

Like I said. Mental disease.