Thursday, February 21, 2008

Honoring Our Husbands' Wishes

Recently I was telling a friend that before I leave to meet Hubby in Qatar that I wanted to get my hair cut and highlighted.

A woman standing nearby overheard me and stated that she liked my hair better when I had it long and dark. I told her that I liked it that way too, but that Hubby preferred it shorter and blonde. You would have thought I said my husband prefers me to rob banks with him rather than sit home and knit (neither of which I do, thank you very much!).

"That's just wrong! You are totally co-dependent and need to come to our recovery group! You should do what makes you happy!"

No amount of explaining my position calmed her. She was beside herself that I would put my husband's desires over my own.

This is what is wrong with marriage today. It's become all about getting our own needs met. But this is the antithesis of what marriage is ordained to be.

Paul tells us that marriage is designed to be a visual picture of the love between the Church and God. That love is a sacrificial love, one that puts the other above self. But in our modern culture, "self" is everything.

Biblically I think I'm on pretty solid ground here as well.

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor..." Romans 12:10

" Love does not seek its own way..." 1 Corinthians 13:5

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Phillipians 2:3-4

"The wife's body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not only belong to him. It belongs to his wife." I Corinthians 7: 4

We are called to honor our husbands. One facet of this is trying to respect their wishes. When we can do something that pleases our husbands, why would we choose not to? Ask yourself who are we seeking to please? If my husband prefers me with lighter, shorter hair and if he is truly the person who's opinion means most to me and the ONLY one whom I am trying to attract, why would I not want to do what he wants?

It's clear from Scripture that we are called to place love for others above seeking our own will. Furthermore, it's clear that we are to love others, particularly our husbands, more than we love ourselves.

I pray that you will endeavor to please your husband in every area - action, speech, looks, attitude. Unless your husband asks you to sin, try to honor his wishes. By surrendering your will to his, you also are surrendering your will to God's. God's Word tells us that by making ourselves less important here on earth, we are actually raising our stature in Heaven.

After all, Christ subjugated his will to his Father's when he went to the cross. And if it's good enough for him, it's good enough for me!


Alyson said...

I agree with you completely...especially biblicaly. Besides....we don't look at ourselves all day. Our husbands do. And they are who we want to desire us.
I always feel good about my look when my husband likes it.

Some women don't get that.

ValleyGirl said...

Oh dear, now I'm going to need to grow my hair out again -- and I absolutely HATE having long hair!!! It's very fine and tangles take over the instant I'm done brushing!

I get what you're saying though, and you're right. Marriage is about giving of ourselves.

Karen said...

Good stuff!

I need the reminder from time to time about honoring my husband and treasuring his opinions. I know he's not going to ask me to do something ungodly. And he's the one I want to please on this earth.

Tracy said...

I nominated you for an award at my blog head on over and pick it up:)

Missy said...

a lesson i could use! i'm the opposite of what i should be :( thank you for sharing such eye opening scripture.


stacey said...

seriously, if i did that, i would have long permed hair with bangs. ;) no, i totally get the verses but we have had to compromise around here. i don't do all out red or really short, but otherwise i make it look good.

ClaireBoe said...

Amen, sister!


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