Monday, July 30, 2007

Marriage Monday

I'm still working through my 30 Day Challenge over here - better late than never, I say! My challenge to myself was to allow the little things to roll off my back during our vacation. But this has radically changed my life and our relationship. The thing that I was most challenged with during our vacation was my husband's decision to not move. This was something very painful for me to accept, but, miraculously, God softened my heart and worked in me over the past few weeks. Somehow, it's ok.

And now, I find myself really scrutinizing myself constantly, asking if what I am beginning to get upset about is really that important. Usually, it's not. I have been somehow able to apply what I have known for so long: that respecting and honoring my husband is much more important that putting our relationship in jeopardy over petty issues. Now, I still struggle with one issue - he's late for everything, while I am punctuality incarnate. I'm working on it, but for now we continue to go to church in two separate cars!

This goes very much along the lines of what Lynn talked about in her post regarding the importance of respecting your husband. In fact, if you are looking for more help on this subject I very highly recommend reading the book "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. It delves into this subject and many more regarding the inner lives of men. I read it with my jaw on the ground most of the time. Now, it contained information that my husband had been trying to communicate to me for years, but Ms. Feldhahn puts in a way that the female psyche can understand it.

So the bottom line for me is that God is finally working on me to help me understand my husband's need for respect, as well as the importance of not always having to be right (don't get too excited, Mom! This is specifically in regards to Hubby!). My marriage is more important than any point I might try to get across.

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, [1] 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant..." Phillipians 2:3-7


Javamama said...

I love your thoughts! Great to sit and ponder...

Here is my email:

As soon as I get your addy I will ship your book off to you!

JOYfully in Him,

Lynn said...

Hi Lori,

Great post!!! I appreciate you are still working on the challenge. Good for you.

Also, the book you suggested was also recommended to me by someone last week. Looks like I will be ordering it. Thanks for the suggestion!

Thank you for joining in on Marriage Monday. Blessings upon your home this day, Love and hugs, Lynn

Amy said...

You go girl. YOur right on track I have been learning to let the little things roll of my back as well. My husband is also late to things and I like to be early. Keeping yourself in check is the only way to go. I use to pray for God to change my husband but then 5 months ago I changed my prayer. I only pray that the Lord shower his blessing upon him each day. That simple little prayer is prayed everytime I start getting upset at him. God has worked what I consider miricles. My husband has took control of his diet and lost 40 lbs. he has also quit smoking just to name a few. Just keep giving you husband to God and keep asking God to help you change becasue you husband will start to respond to it.

Kellie said...

I love your entry for this week! Respect is the key to every great relationship!

How often do our men get belittled by us and we just expect them to deal with it because we are too busy with other things to think about their feelings?

I love your insight! I too am still working on the challenge and have decided to extend it past the thirty days because it is so awesome!!


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