Sunday, September 9, 2007

Smart Habit Saturday

Better late than never, right?! Sorry this is so late getting posted, but it's been a busy day for us over here.

I'm happy to report that last week's goal of really clearly having a "line of demarcation" between school time and non-school time worked really well. We got so much accomplished this week, school-wise. And that's accounting for the fact that we had a three-day weekend, started back to our support group (losing 1/2 a day), resumed speech therapy, and had a "mom was really sick so kids had to work by themselves day." I'm really, really pleased that things went so well. Everyone seemed much happier with less stress and also with the new curriculum that we began.

For this week, I'd really like to continue working on this habit, as it is a constant source of stress for me, plus I'd really like to work on dealing with my children in a more positive way. I've gotten to the point, or maybe THEY'VE gotten to the point, where relations are strained because they are constantly fighting, which means I'm constantly on edge. Rather than just yelling at them to stop, I need to find better ways to handle my own anger and frustration, while helping them learn to deal with their conflicts in a more productive manner than lashing out at each other.

So, specifically, what should I work on? Well, first, I'd like to stop yelling. Even if I'm frustrated, yelling only serves to upset me, and my kids, more. It's counter-productive, even if it lets me blow off a little steam. Instead, I should take a second to pray and ask for wisdom when there is a conflict boiling over between them.

Secondly, I need to go back to Lisa Whelchel's book Creative Correction and look for some constructive ways to help siblings deal with their conflict. I personally always liked the "making them hold hands" technique. They hate that! But seriously, in order to be productive, healthy adults, they have to learn conflict resolutions skills which do not involve pulling each other's hair or throwing things. I'm just sayin'. Cuz their boss in the future might not like that, they'll get fired and come back to live with me. So it's really MY future on the line here, people!

For more wonderful ideas if you are looking for ways to change the habits in your life, pop over to The Lazy Organizer to see what others are working on. Who knows, you may find some inspiration there to Save your Money, Associations, Resources, and Time!


Leeann said...

Hey Lori,

My kids get can to where they are bickering too, especially the boys since they spend most of their free time together. For them I do a combination of a time out (nose in the corner or sit on their bed) and then a genuine hug and apology. The hug, which usually starts out grudgingly, always seems to end up in smiles or laughter, and then off they go to play again. Hopefully it will stay simple like that for a while longer.


queenbusick said...

Keep posting on how this works for you and your family...who doesn't need this? I am always up for a new solution...I am guessing you have them hold hands until they like each other again?

I've been yelling a lot too - so it must be contagious and you've given me something to think about...

Rebecca said...

"Cuz their boss in the future might not like that, they'll get fired and come back to live with me. So it's really MY future on the line here, people!" - amen sister! I'll have to check out that book. Have a great week glad separating school & non school time went well.


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