Friday, September 21, 2007

Whatever Happened to Being a Lady?

Edited to Add: Please see the Comments section for additional clarification of my thoughts on this subject.

I have something to confess.

I'm a lady.

I admit it. Whatever happened to us? Where is this dying breed?

Our society has become one big toxic waste dump, it seems. The poisonous fumes seep through cracks, under doors and into our homes, no matter how hard we try to shut them out.

Just a couple of examples from this past week's Emmy Awards show:

Katherine Heigl, a truly stunning actress on Grey's Anatomy, won the award for Best Supporting Actress. I don't watch the show, so I can't comment on her talents, but I was stunned to see a woman of such beauty utter foul language upon her win (and then repeat it later during interviews). It was like watching mud flow from the Mona Lisa. Just wrong and made me think so much less of her.

Sally Field, in a political speech she gave upon her win, took the name of the Lord in vain as a curse word. Regardless of your feelings on the war, again, this just lowered my opinion of her so much.

Kathy Griffin, who won during the creative Emmys for a comedy show she did, got up and announced that while "many people thank Jesus for their award, no one had less to do with this award than Jesus." She later held up the statuette and proclaimed, "This is my god now."

(I just read that Ray Ramone, of Everybody Loves Raymond fame, used the F-word, but as I'm focusing on ladies, I won't comment on that other to say it makes me really sad.)

There was once a day when gentlemen didn't swear in the presence of a lady. When we were treasures to be protected.

We have fallen down the slippery slope of trying to be equal. In an effort to be regarded as just as capable as men, we have tried to prove it in all the wrong ways. We can curse like them, drink like them, and sleep around like them.

Don't misunderstand me - I'm not condoning this behavior in men either. But at least, in years past, ladies understood that this was not behavior which enhanced their reputation nor their attractiveness.

I'm tired of men using foul language when they speak with me. I'm tired of being subjected to it as I go through the grocery store. I'm sick to death of my kids having to hear it because people are trying to impress other people with their swearing abilities. Guess what, people? It doesn't really show that you are smart! It actually demonstrates that you aren't smart enough to come up with a better word.

And it's not just the swearing - it's the ads for erectile dysfunction and for herpes medications and for sexual arousal aids. It's the fact that even if I'm selling toothpaste, I'm going to use sex to sell it. It's the total hedonism that pervades our society - "If it feels good I'm going do it and I don't care how it affects you."

How do you protect yourself, and your family, from the constant onslaught?


ValleyGirl said...

REAL LADY REVIVAL, that's what we need. I'm with you!! I wish we lived 100 years ago when times were simpler, common sense was the coveted education, and church was central in the community. And cowboys. Lots of handsome, polite, rugged cowboys... (oops, that might have been a bit of a tangent!)

Anonymous said...

If only we could all be as perfect as you and never utter a curse word or doing anything wrong in our lives. But of course being perfect that gives you the right to judge other people of course :)

Lori - The Simple Life at Home said...


I'm sorry I offended you. That truly wasn't my purpose. Please, rest assured, I am far from perfect. Unfortunately, curse words do slip out from my mouth from time to time, a sad reminder of my life before I accepted Christ.

My purpose of this post was to open a discussion of the fact that public cursing (and other forms of vulgarity) is now socially acceptable. I can't imagine that anyone would find that a good thing. It used to be that swearing would be resorted to only in extreme cases - not it's part of many people's everyday vernacular.

A while ago, I was grocery shopping in Wal-Mart with my two children. Two women, who were on opposite ends of the produce section, were literally hollering back and forth to each other about what they were doing, with the F-word in every single sentence.

Once upon a time, women were proud to be above such behavior. I just wish that there were some way we could turn back the clock to a time when people considered the feelings of those around them.

Mylinda said...

Well, Lori, once again, I agree with you. I, too, have "those" moments when unwanted words slip out, and I truly do believe it's a habit that is "contageous". I try to correct myself and do not allow the children to say curse words (believe me, tons of kids do and their parents don't care). I do have to say, however, that even though I dress very casually and seem very casual in my lifestyle, somehow men still regard me as a "lady". Very few men, even my husband's rough-around-the-edges friends do not curse in front of me and when they do, they appologize immediately. Most men still open doors for me and I have taught my girls to always say thank you to them for this, loud enough for them to hear. I think that encourages them to keep at it. Also, I think being a "lady" is a matter of demeanor, behavior, and attitude, not looks. I am pleased that men respect me enough to watch their speech in front of me.

stacey said...

i am not perfect either, but i do think as an adult, i am in absolute control how talk in public. it has always bothered me when adults talk in a vulgar way around children.

Tracy said...

I agree it's so nice to be treated like a lady still. My hubby opens doors for me all the time and his sons have learned from him. They hold open the doors for ladies all the time. I'm so glad my boys have a good role model in this area of how to treat a lady and take care of her. I know I sure enjoy being taken care of!

On Fire For Jesus said...

Seriously - good grief, to the one who is anonymous. You can take it up with me. Lori was in no way being judgemental or rude or unkind.

Foul language is what it is and even those who speak it all the time, would agree that it is still foul.

No one is perfect - NO ONE. We all make mistakes, daily. But asking us to clean it up a bit and try to watch what we say, especially in front of chilren??? What is wrong with that.

Sorry Lori for being so strong in my comments. However, I found Anonymous rather annoying to leave such a rude comment.

I give you full permission to delete my comment if you feel it only causes problems!

On Fire For Jesus said...

PS - my kids are younger. However, we monitor what we watch on TV, for ourselves and our kids. And I have no problems with turning the magazines around in Wal Mart or other stores. I also feel very strongly about saying things to the management. My 5 year old is reading and the last thing I want him to be reading outloud in a store is S*X.

Natalie C. said...

I think one of the things that can keep your home protected is just keeping your own integrity. It's such a great goal to try to do devotions every day. I know I would struggle less with so many things if I did that. There is a great speech based on James 3:2-10 by a leader of my church that I think you would like. For me, the angry words at my kids are so hard to control, and it breaks my heart. But I thought this was a good read:,5232,23-1-690-7,00.html


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