Sunday, January 6, 2008

I've got the blahs...until midnight.

Today I just wanted to lie in bed. I have a major case of the blahs. Now, I'm still doing okay with Hubby being gone. I have had a couple of minutes where I've started crying, but pull myself together after a minute and go on. It's been when I've talked to him that it hits me how much I miss him. But I'm really working on the whole "becoming emotionally stronger" thing.

I just have no motivation. I'm bummed because one thing I was actually looking forward to with my husband leaving was that I could throw away a TON of stuff. Hubby is definitely a pack-rat. He saves everything! Apparently it's an inherited gene because his father is the same way. "Someday I might find a use for this one single drumstick." So yesterday I gleefully went through the house pulling out bags and bag and shoebox after shoebox (one of his favorite things to collect) of stuff to dump. Now I just had to wait for the garbage to come so I would have empty garbage cans to put this all in.

They skipped us. Not just us - the whole side of our street. Oh, they did the other side of the street, sure. But no matter how many times I looked hopefully up and down our street, they never came back. Finally this afternoon, I grudgingly went out and pulled my still-full garbage cans back to my yard. So now I have mounds everywhere of things waiting to be thrown away with no place to put it all. It's like living in a Goodwill donation truck.

Even though I feel this way, I had kind of planned on having a couple of bad days after Hubby left, so I decided to just accept it and allow myself two bad days and to determine that on Sunday, I would begin my makeover. So tomorrow I am going to wake up early and walk, go to church, worship my Lord and my Creator, and start this phase of my life with eagerness and anticipation.

It would be easy to just let myself stay in this funk. But that would just be so self-defeating. I feel like I've been there, done that, you know? That's what got me needing a makeover in the first place. Just allowing myself to feel sorry for myself. But the time for change is now.

Well, tomorrow anyway.

4 comments:

stacey said...

wallow awhile then rev up your engine! you can do it-i know you can!

Leeann said...

What would possess them to pick up trash on only one side of the street?? That is just BIZARRE!

Lori, I think it is great that you set a deadline and you knew the first few days were going to be rough. Good luck with your makeover and remember to let your friends lift you up.

You can always take a little gander up the East Coast and visit!

Leeann

Laura said...

Having that three-month horizon is powerful - and I can totally relate to the blahs... I fight them constantly. Hope you are able to get your engine started soon. :)

ValleyGirl said...

I always have a bit of a funk like that when hubby leaves, too. If he's only gone for the week, then I really have to watch it that I don't let it last too long!! I'll be in the same boat in a month's time, with hubby leaving to work up north for 2 months, but I guess the difference for me is that we've done this before. That likely won't stop me from having the "blahs" for a few days though. It's just an adjustment. You can do it!

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