Wednesday, January 16, 2008

True Confessions

Ok, this is hard to write. But I have promised to be upfront and honest here at The Simple Life at Home. So in the interest of transparency I have to confess that I have not lived up to my resolutions.

I really do have the best of intentions. I just hadn't anticipated how Hubby's leaving would throw my world into a kink. And I'm not giving up on things - just maybe tweaking them and/or starting a little late.

So let's go through one by one and I'll give you an update:

Spiritual
  • Instead of trying to "live a good Christian life," I want to just simply focus on abiding in Christ. I want Him to be the very air I breathe. I want to live a life of worship. (I think I'm doing pretty good on this. I am spending a lot more time in prayer and in just trying to really BE with God.)
  • I want to read through the Bible in 90 days. I started it last year, but with my in-laws here (for six weeks!) it was hard to make the daily commitment to read for up to an hour a day. I really enjoyed doing it while I lasted. The point isn't to get deep study, but to get a "big picture" view of Scripture. (I've decided to hold off on this until after I complete the current study I'm doing, Beth Moore's "Daniel" study. There's a lot of homework in it and the 90 day plan suggests that you don't participate in any other study while doing it.)
  • Once that is completed, I want to take the remaining 9 months and study one book of the Bible in depth each month. I haven't decided which books yet, but I'll let you know. (I'm trying now to decide on which books to study so I can pick up some materials to take with me when we move. Any suggestions?)


Emotional

  • Prove to myself that I am stronger than I give myself credit for during Hubby's absence. (I think I'm doing ok here. I'm managing to pay the bills, deal with trying to sell the house and rental properties, taking over all the tasks he previously did and I'm ok.)
  • Work on controlling my emotions, specifically not crying so easily or losing my temper as quickly. This will be a challenge for me because I am one who desperately needs time alone. Without Hubby here, there won't be anyone to provide that and take the kids off my hands for a while. (This is the area where I've really surprised myself. I've gotten the crying under control. When I feel like starting, I manage to pull myself together and breathe deeply and control my emotions. As far as my temper, I've been doing much better there as well. There are the typical frustrations, but I don't think I've really "lost it" very much.)
  • Stop eating for emotional reasons and learn to turn to God for comfort. (Been doing well at this and really stopping and thinking before I eat - particularly late at night.)

Physically

  • Beginning on Sunday, and until I leave for Qatar, I want to do the 6 Week Body Makeover. I've had success on it in the past (I lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks), but Hubby didn't care for the food and it is a very time-consuming with all the cooking and the eating every three hours. I'm not setting any goal for weight loss, just committing to doing the plan and whatever happens, happens. (I've decided not to do this. I just don't have the time or motivation to spend this much effort on it. I haven't been cooking hardly at all and the times I have cooked, I ate way too much of the plan food. Since my main problem seems to be portion control, I've decided to purchase lots of Lean Cuisine type meals and just use those for a while. It will help me learn portion control and keep me from having to focus on food the entire day.)
  • In conjunction with the program, I'm going to go back to walking 5 mornings a week. (I've only done this a couple of times. I haven't been able to sleep well since Hubby left, so I'm either falling asleep at 3 am and sleeping late OR taking a sleeping pill around midnight and sleeping late. See the "going to bed' entry below.)
  • I will do the strength-training program that is prescribed in the program as well. It uses the bands and it's very easy. (This is going good.)
  • I have to start going to bed earlier. I've gotten in the habit of going to bed around 1 a.m. and waking at 6:30 or 7. That's just not enough sleep. It makes me cranky, makes my skin look tired and sallow and definitely contributes to my weight issues. I want to go to bed by 10:30 or 11 at the latest. (As I mentioned, I've not been sleeping well. The only nights I've slept well are nights I've taken some OTC sleeping pills. But I wait until I've already tossed and turned for a while and still am not getting to sleep before 1 am usually. I need to turn in earlier - 11:00 - and try to get up earlier.)

Professionally

  • I want to make the separation from Hubby, and the move, as easy on the kids as possible.
  • I want to make sure I quickly establish new routines and household order once we get to Qatar. It's important that we get used to the new city/country/culture as quickly as possible and get the kids meeting new friends, while still making home a familiar refuge.
  • Hubby hates how I pile things up until I can get to them. So a major goal for me is to learn to deal with things at the time rather than have literal piles of stuff that falls over at the slightest breeze. (Doing so-so on this. I go in spurts, you know? Sometimes I'm really motivated, others not. But it's a learning process and I don't expect to conquer it in one day.)
  • I need to really work hard and learn to overcome laziness. (I definitely see an improvement in the amount of work I'm putting into things. Yippee!)
  • Once we move into our new home, I don't want to allow clutter to accumulate.

So, while my goals may have been lofty and impressive, in actuality things don't always work out how one would hope. I'm still trying to make myself into a better person, but maybe it won't be quite as dramatic. But that's ok. Life's a journey, right?

4 comments:

Karen said...

I just want you to know, I am right there with you. I'm sitting here in front of my computer screen eatin' a tub of chocolate icing. Not the whole tub mind you but I am fairly certain that "tub" and "icing" are not on any diet/healthy eating program known to man. (Unless "tub" refers to me!) So hang in there. We're only 15 days into the new year. There's plenty of time. And truthfully, you sound like you're doing better than I am!

Karen said...

Lori,

We'll either make our goals or "remake" them. Either way works for me! Just don't try the chocolate icing. It made me feel kind of icky. (serves me right I suppose.)

ValleyGirl said...

Sharing your personal assessment of your progress is a great way to keep yourself on track. Sounds like you're doing well. Deciding not to do something after all or changing the way you said you'd do something isn't failure, necessarily, it's fine-tuning. You had a lot of great goals and you've had a chance to prioritize them now. I think you're doing great!!

Melissa said...

Lori, how about the book of Esther? I love that book. You can get inspiration from another strong woman. Plus, it's not too long, so it's very manageable.

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