The Simple Life at Home

Pennie commented on my last post that it is hard for her (and I'm sure for many, many women) to put her husband before her children. I think that is natural.

God has given us as mothers a tremendous drive to protect our children. We are meant to bond with them in a way that we don't bond with anyone else. They need us for every thing, particularly as babies.

However. . .they are not our first priority.

Of course we are to give them love, shelter, food, tenderness, support, encouragement, chauffer services, clean clothes, kisses on boo-boos and all that good stuff.

But we are supposed to make sure that our husband is taken care of first. Not, of course, to the point of neglecting our children, but certainly they can take their rightful place behind Daddy.

We have become a child-centered society. In ages past, children were not the center of the family. Joyful additions, to be sure, but not the center. They were expected to contribute to family life, to be respectful and, let's face it, to do what Mom and Dad said.

If it's a choice between making sure that your child gets to a playdate or making sure that your husband has clean clothes and a hot meal, it shouldn't be a contest.

Now, Pennie in her comment seemed to have concerns about her children being actually, physically hurt. I'm not exactly sure what you meant, Pennie, or where you are coming from, but I would never expect a woman to stay in a relationship that is abusive either to herself or her children. NEVER. In that situation, a woman must seek help for herself and for her children.

But for the vast majority of us, this is not the case. For most of us, it's simply a matter of our choices. It's easier and, yes, more enjoyable, to put our children first. We don't want to have to submit. That's the real truth.

But if we truly understood that respecting our husband will lead to so many blessings, we wouldn't hesitate.

It's simply a matter of understanding two basic things:

1) Men thrive on respect. They wither away when they feel unimportant to you. And nothing leads you down that road faster than allowing your children to consume your life. But when you restore him to his rightful place of honor, he will blossom and you (and your children) will be the beneficiaries of his newfound self-confidence.

2) We are called to respect our husbands by God. It's not a choice really. And while Titus 2 tells us to love our husbands and our children, we are told over and over again to respect our husbands and to be submissive to them. This is God's plan, not mine. And God's plan is always smarter than anything we can come up with.