Monday, May 12, 2008

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. , A Self Assessment

As promised, I'm back to talk a little with you about respecting our husbands.

Before I get into the actual meat of the matter, I'd like to post a self-assessment taken from The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace. This is one of the most powerful books on being a godly wife that you will ever read. It is Scripture, through and through. Mrs. Peace does a wonderful job of illuminating Scripture and applying it to our marriages. I've lead a group of women through the book before and we enjoyed it immensely.

One woman in the group struggled greatly, believing that we were talking about being a doormat to our husbands. That couldn't be further from the truth!! While we are called by God to respect our husbands, we are also still to be strong women in our own right. It takes strength to follow this particular order, let me tell you!! Sometimes it's not easy and you have to dig down deep to be respectful, but it's worth it. I firmly believe however, that when you are doing your part (respecting him) and he is doing his part (loving you, which he will be even more motivated to do by your respect) that you can have a truly heavenly marriage.

And, please, before we start let me make perfectly clear that respecting my husband is not something I have mastered. I struggle and continue to learn and work on it. My point in this series is not to sit on my high horse and preach, but to encourage myself and anyone else who may be interested to work on this very important part of marriage. And so, without any further ado, on to the assessment.

Self Assessment

** Do you speak to your husband in a condescending, "put down" manner? For example, "What's the matter with you?" "My dad would never have done that." "Can't you do anything right?" "I should have known better than to depend on you." "Don't be stupid." "Don't be ridiculous."

** Do you treat your husband in private as respectfully as you do your pastor, your neighbor, or your friends in public?

** Does your countenance show your disrespect by angry looks, looks of disgust, eye-rolling, crossed arms, etc.?

** Do you talk for your husband or interrupt him?

** Do you try to intimidate or bully your husband by making threats, verbally attacking him, crying or in some other way manipulating him to have your way?

** Do you bring up his shortcomings to others?

** Do you inappropriately contradict him in front of others?

** Do you compare him unfavorably with other men?

** Do you listen carefully to your husband's opinions, trying to understand him?

** Do you respect his position in the home so much that he can depend on you to do as he asks even when he is not home?

** Do you respect his requests by trying to do as he asks, even if it doesn't seem important to you?

** Would your husband say that you have a meek and quiet spirit?

** Are you obeying God by being respectful to your husband?

* * * * * * * * *

Were you convicted by any of these as you read through? I know that I was. I could pick out some of those issues that I struggle with again and again. My prayer as I work through this series is that we will be able to learn to show love to our husbands through respecting them. Join me tomorrow for the first part.

4 comments:

Raquel said...

thank you for this! I so needed it!

Leeann said...

Well, Crap. According to that list, I am not doing well at all. And the meek and quiet spirit? I'm not sure that is in my makeup at all!

I'll be interested in following your series, my friend!

Leeann---> who will be wrapping up her Letters to Kate series this week.

Pennie said...

Wow. What an eye opener. I needed to see this, I really did. I don't think I'm good at this part of a marriage at all!

www.xanga.com/apennieformythoughts

Tracye said...

I'm with Leeann.

Crap.

I am really glad you posted this. I really want to be all the things I'm supposed to be, but this really helps spell out what I'm doing wrong... what I need to work on.

Thanks.

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