Wednesday, November 28, 2007

And the insanity ends...

Well, it's over. I've come to realize that good enough is good enough. If you haven't been following my crazy attempt to make my home into a Better Homes and Garden palace in less than one week, you've missed out. I mean, there's nothing like a woman possessed by the spirit of perfectionism to make you want to slap someone.

But I give up. It's just not going to happen. I've done as much as I can do, but we all have to know when to accept defeat. I'm going to keep working on the list, but at a reasonable pace. And if things don't get done, they don't get done. Life will go on.

Yesterday, on our way home from having spent the entire day running errands - from 11 in the morning until 6 at night - Hubby called and asked me to do a simple task for him. I honestly started crying in the car and told him I was going to lose it if I had to add one more thing to my plate. He very gently comforted me and told me to just do what I can do and not worry about the rest of it.

When I got home, the best thing I could muster up for dinner was Tuna Helper. Now, no disrespect to those of you who use Tuna Helper (or any other Helper for that matter), but this is something that Hubby hates. Personally I don't mind it, but her prefers his food less...preservative-laden, let's say. I only keep it in the house as part of our hurricane supply closet. After I got it made, I felt bad about not responding more graciously when he asked for my help earlier. I worked on what he asked me to do and got it done in the time frame he needed.

And I felt much better for it. It helped me to take my eyes off myself and my goals. It put things into perspective. I felt much calmer and steadier. And I realized that I was being crazy.

Crazy to think that I could do that much (and there is much I have done that didn't even make the list (new toilet seats, for instance!!??). Crazy to think that the insane woman screaming at her kids because she is so stressed out is what God wanted from me.

So today we have just me. And that's good enough.


Mylinda said...

I'm proud of you for taking a deep breath and stepping back into the real world. It's great to have a plan, but it's not so great to have the plan run us. Believe me, I know. Been there, done that!! We put God over here in this neat little corner while we get on with the business at hand, all the while He's watching us and shaking His head waiting for us to collapse into His arms and plead for help. So, not meanly, but I'm glad you finally hit the wall and realized that you, in fact, are not super woman. But, I love you anyway!! Enjoy the last couple days with hubby before the trip. You'll be glad you did that instead of go insane. :-)

Q&Q said...

LOL! I'm so sorry for laughing. It's just that I relate. I'm sure many of us do. I usually snap and then my husband calmly starts cooking dinner and taking care of the toddler. I found you from Valley Girl =>
My husband is lucky I have a food allergy. All our meals would be preservative laden if not. I'm going to go back and read your Better Homes and Gardening posts. I hope you are taking it easy now.
God Bless

Leeann said...

Just you has always been just right for me!
It is good to realize when too much is too much.
I'm proud of you, kiddo.

Leeann----> who apparently looks like a grandma.

ValleyGirl said...

Oh, Lori, it's so hard to watch yourself disintegrate into that screaming crazy lady, isn't it? I know; I'm the same way when I'm trying to clean the house and pack before we head to the city for a week. The girls are always more underfoot (I think they're still afraid they'll get left behind!) and the more I try to get done, the more they seem to UN-do.... and then mommy starts yelling. It's so stressful, putting pressure on ourselves to be perfect. I mean really, if my house is never neat and tidy when we're at home, it doesn't make sense for it to be that way while we're gone!! So I've given that up. If my house is a disaster when I start packing up to leave, that's the way it stays.

You've accomplished SO much in such a short time, but I'm betting your family is glad to have the REAL YOU back! I hope you have a wonderful few last days together before you and the kids head out.

Melissa said...

Lori, you are way to hard on yourself and I'm glad you are taking a step back. You have accomplished so much! I, too, have been that crazy woman yelling like a banshee when I've taken on too much. We've all been there. Good for you for realizing it. Love ya.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I love this honest and heart felt post. I can so relate to everything you've said.


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